I can’t be the only one who feels like they spend a slightly higher than desirable percentage of their day hunched over Outlook. I’ve thought about trying to calculate how many emails I send in a week before, but every time, I’ve decided that – in the same way I’m prone to deliberately underestimating how much I spend on lunch when I’m in the office – I think I’d rather not know. What I can unequivocally say, though, is that I send and read – the average person receives more than 120 a day – a lot of emails.

When certain pseudo-corporate phrases first started popping up in my inbox a few years ago, it was quite funny. “Circling back? I have absolutely no idea what that means,” I’d think, as I hit Reply All. “What does he mean he hopes this finds me well?” I’d ponder as another message flew into my inbox. I distinctly remember googling ‘EOD meaning’ one afternoon, feeling bemused when I discovered that the words these letters replace are actually very short. After a few months, this particular stock of phrases started to grow familiar – until, one day, I found myself beginning a message with: “I’m reaching out…” and telling someone else I’d “loop them in”.

A few years on, I haven’t quite gone full “I hope this email finds you well”, but I’ve certainly – albeit reluctantly – incorporated some classic email speak into the way I write my work messages. And I thought that’s where it ended. Until a few weeks ago, when I apologised to my friend for being slow at replying, and that I’d send her a proper response before EOD. A few minutes later, I sent her a hurried follow-up: “Oh my god… EOD! Sorry, I don’t know where that came from.” But I did: it came directly from my work inbox.

Last week, I accidentally took things a step further, after my mum pointed out an eyelash that had made its way onto my cheek. “Oh, thanks for flagging that!” I replied – and instantly cringed so deeply that the skin-crawling feeling I got while watching Matt Hancock perform Just Ken almost paled in comparison. Safe to say, I knew it was time to make a change somewhere.

In a bid to reduce my exposure to email speak – and, in turn, prevent it from bleeding out into any more of my IRL interactions, I’ve made a vow to be less auto-pilot about my messages. To phrase things in a way that feels normal, rather than in this strange vernacular that exists in my Drafts folder. And until I’ve managed to kick the habit completely, I’ll be consciously holding back the urge to type a quick “Hope that works for you?” after suggesting weekend plans with friends on WhatsApp. Please note: this is a WIP.

Image: Getty