“She completely forgot our friendship and the fact I’d trained her”

Helen, 46, nurse practitioner, Bristol

“I’m a nurse and was friends with someone at work, let’s call her Katie*. I even trained her in the beginning. I then took some time off to have my children (two girls), and when I went back, Katie had been promoted to a management position. It irritated me, mostly because she seemed to completely forget our friendship and the fact that I’d invested a lot of time training her. I couldn’t deal with it, and it drove me to move to a different hospital, which sounds like a negative conclusion, but there was so much else wrong there that I’m glad I’m away from it all now.”

“I became totally obsessed with her”

Anna, 31, marketing manager, London

“It started on the first day of my job in marketing, where I’ve now been for almost four years. That’s when I met Gabriel*, who is a level below me but works in a similar role, doing everything from writing to pitching to clients. She had started a couple of weeks before I did, so she knew the ropes already, which annoyingly made it feel like she was more experienced than I was. It all started there, really. Our manager loved Gabriel, and it took a little longer for them to properly believe in me, so I felt like I was constantly trying to outshine her. This was hard because she’s very good at her job – smart, efficient and friendly.

“I became totally obsessed with her. I was convinced the company was only going to keep one of us when our six-month probation period came to an end. I remember running to the loo and crying when our manager loudly praised Gabriel in front of the team and completely overlooked my work. That happened a lot. It was hard, but I channelled my jealousy to match her impressive work ethic. Our manager noticed. When it came to the end of the probation, we both made it through, and after another six months, we both got promoted. I learned a lot from the experience. I’m not a naturally competitive person, but in this instance, embracing that instinct was helpful. I respect Gabriel now too, and though we’ll never be close friends, we sometimes have lunch together and confide in one another. I’ll never admit how obsessed with her I was at the beginning, though.”

“Having a work nemesis was the best thing that ever happened to my career. This is how to make competitiveness work for you”