We’ve all worked with someone who is constantly boasting about how busy they are, how much work they have on their heaping plate and how much stress they’re dealing with. If you don’t know the type, here’s a scary question: is it you?

With hustle culture turning burnout into a badge of honour, you may feel pressure to continue proving yourself and earning your job, particularly in a tough economic climate. So it’s easy to fall into a habit of bragging about your stress as a way of showing your value and dedication to your organisation.

It’s called busy bragging – also known as stress bragging – the concept of loudly announcing and even gloating about how much strain you’re under at work. And it has negative consequences, not just for the busy braggart but also for those who work with them.

A new study found that those who indulge in busy bragging are seen as less competent and less warm than their colleagues. What’s worse, the stress braggart’s colleagues also experience higher levels of burnout due to enhanced stress crossover effects.

There are lots of reasons why you might be boasting about how much you’re doing at work: to prove your value, demonstrate your authority, build your reputation as a hard worker, justify your pay and position or even to find validation from your boss and team.

“Busy bragging is often used to imply that we – or the things we are doing – have a higher level of importance than others or even to gain sympathy or recognition,” Dr Sophie Mort, clinical psychologist and mental health expert at Headspace, tells Stylist. “With this mindset comes competition, where people turn stress into another opportunity for comparison. Stress bragging becomes a way to demonstrate who has the most demanding responsibilities. When we boast about our stressors or demanding schedules, we are subtly suggesting that we are highly valuable because we have so many tasks and responsibilities.” 

And here’s the rub: you might not even realise it when you’re busy bragging – it’s often done unconsciously. Hearing others busy bragging around you normalises it so that it becomes a pattern in your own behaviour.

Although it can feel impressive or satisfying in the moment to list off all the essential or exhausting projects on your long to-do list, busy bragging isn’t the flex you think it is. In reality, it’s counterproductive.

“For individuals who practise stress bragging, there are several potential negative impacts. By promoting an image of constant busyness and stress, we’re essentially normalising this behaviour for ourselves. This can lead to a state of persistent stress, which is a slippery slope to burnout – harming both physical and mental health,” says Dr Mort.

And the list of burnout symptoms is long and unpleasant. It includes emotional exhaustion, irritability, demotivation, cynicism, lack of focus and productivity, fatigue, headaches, trouble sleeping and digestion issues.

Busy bragging also harms your colleagues and team, particularly if you’re a people manager.

“If leaders or managers stress boast, this might send a message to more junior employees that there is an unrealistic standard to meet,” Dr Mort explains. “Regardless of your seniority, if you’re boasting about your stress levels, you’re potentially making others feel like they must overwork to be seen as productive or valuable. This can lead to an increased risk of chronic stress of burnout for the wider workplace.”

If while reading this you’re thinking: It’s me, hi. I’m the problem, don’t worry. To chuck busy bragging in the bin, Dr Mort shares her advice:

Awaken your awareness

If you can recognise when you are busy bragging, you’re better placed to manage it. Ask a trusted colleague to gently call you out when you’re busy bragging. Incorporating mindfulness and meditation practices into a daily routine can also help foster a deeper sense of self-awareness.

Challenge and reflect on your beliefs around busyness

Ask yourself: do I feel like people will take me seriously or approve of me if I constantly have an endless to-do list or a high output? Is my busyness helpful or is it running me into the ground? Then, consider what a healthy relationship with being busy might look like and what you can practically do to take stress off your workload.

Give it a rest

Make your rest a priority, take your annual leave and schedule time to separate from the stress – you’ll find you’re a better leader for it.

Beyond being tiresome to be on the receiving end of, busy bragging also stresses people out. Dr Mort also offered her tips to deal with a busy braggart at work.

Build your balance

Although you can’t control the actions of others, you can control your own. Find ways to build a healthy work balance by setting clear boundaries of your working hours and only operate during these hours to model the right behaviour.

Communicate your boundaries

Once you’re clear on your boundaries, speak up in a polite but firm way when they’re being crossed. Try steering the conversation in a more constructive direction by saying: “I understand you’re busy and I’m sorry you’ve been feeling stressed and overwhelmed, but could we focus on how we can manage our workloads effectively?”

Choose compassion and kindness

Setting boundaries is paramount to protecting your own wellbeing, but if you’re able to offer empathy and a listening ear, you can give them support while remembering that you don’t have to take on what they’re carrying.

Images: Adobe