From instant messaging and social media to video calls and virtual meetings, the internet has changed the way we communicate forever. 

Even before the pandemic, technology had a huge part to play in organising social events and staying in touch with distant friends and family. But over the last two years it’s become an even bigger part of our lives, allowing us to talk to friends, family, colleagues and community members at a time when face-to-face contact wasn’t safe.

However, while communicating online has become such an integral part of our lives over the last couple of years, it’s also become increasingly demanding. 

The amount of time it’s become ‘socially acceptable’ to reply to a message within has decreased rapidly, thanks in part to the rise of read receipts and ‘last online’ reports which allow our friends and family to monitor our online habits. 

It’s a trend which has led to more and more of us struggling to keep up and feeling overwhelmed by the expectation to be ‘always on’, as a recent viral Twitter thread by user @becauseivy perfectly highlights.

“Saw a TikTok about cutting someone off for not responding to a text for two days,” the first tweet read. “Received a message myself at 11:30pm and then a follow-up in the morning asking if there was a ‘deeper reason’ I wasn’t responding. This constant digital availability expectation is sickening.”

The thread continued: “If I’m super close with someone and we establish texting every day and then that rhythm changes, I will communicate it. But for people I speak to once every few weeks? I will aggressively turn my phone off for the whole weekend if I want to, thank you very much.” 

As expected, responses to the tweet were mixed. While most people agreed with the thread’s message – and went on to communicate how anxious and exhausted the need to be constantly available made them feel – others argued that responding to a text is the least people can do if they want to maintain a friendship. 

In general, however, people expressed frustration at the expectation to be constantly available. 

“I get anxiety if people aren’t responding,” wrote one user. “But then I remind myself I’m not the main character in their lives and move on. Sometimes put my phone into airplane if it’s getting obsessive. There’s no excuse for projecting that onto others.”

“Days can feel like minutes for people with ADHD,” read another response. “People with chronic pain can be incommunicado for days during a flare-up. These digital availability expectations, when not previously agreed upon, are both ridiculous and ableist.”

While our reliance on technology to communicate, work and live our lives isn’t going anywhere, a growing number of people seem to be rejecting the idea that we need to be ‘always on’ in favour of a healthier relationship with technology – and this thread is an example of how widespread this sentiment really is. 

Image: Getty