Everybody likes reaching their goals. Whether it’s the fanfare that comes from buying a house or the buzz of finally securing that promotion, there’s nothing more satisfying than fulfilling something you’ve always aimed for. But can there ever be too much of a good thing, where our desire to achieve turns into something closer to addiction? According to Dr Mandy Lehto, an executive coach and the host of Enough, The Podcast, the answer is yes.

“It’s entirely possible to become addicted to behaviours, and achievement is a potent drug that is positively reinforced and often celebrated by society,” she explains.

Defined as the over-consumption of work (or other goal-focused pursuits) even when it has a negative effect on our own wellbeing or the wellbeing of others, achievement addiction often looks like a compulsive need to tick things off a list, hit goals, gather external accolades and relentlessly produce at the expense of simply being. Sound at all familiar? You’re far from alone.

As an executive coach, Dr Lehto says that she sees a lot of similarities in the types of people who come to her with achievement addiction. “They are often go-getting Type As who love to win and struggle to relax,” she shares. “People who are addicted to achievement are usually very future-focused, constantly moving towards an imagined ideal because the present isn’t really working as they want it to.

“It’s a need to have something to strive towards whether that’s an event, a package from Asos or completing a goal. If you feel afraid of ordinariness, you might be addicted to achievement.”

However, it’s important to remember that none of us are immune to addiction. “We live in a very ‘addictogenic’ world that constantly encourages us to chase dopamine through social media validation, endless consumption and 24/7 stimulation,” she adds. 

According to Dr Lehto, one of the signs of achievement addiction is the loss of boundaries when it comes to work (if that’s where you’re getting your achievement fix).

“You might find yourself sending emails at 3am or working on holiday – perhaps secretly,” she shares. “There’s no ‘off’ button; all conversations and thoughts revolve around work, but you might get tetchy and defensive if others mention it as an issue. But it really becomes a problem when it starts to have an adverse effect on your mental health, physical health and relationships.”

Another sign of achievement addiction is that everything becomes about productivity, even hobbies and reading for leisure. Everything you do becomes a lever for optimising yourself and hitting goals – you might find yourself using your ‘downtime’ to consume personal development books and train for a marathon. 

“There is often a sense that even when you do reach the pinnacle of achievement, it still doesn’t feel ‘enough’,” Dr Lehto explains. “Achievement addicts might really be addicted to anticipation and striving. To the hope that this time the reality is going to match the expectation. Then a deep disappointment follows if it doesn’t. You’re left with the feeling of never being satiated and a compulsive need to look for the next ‘thing’… again.”

To work on achievement addiction, Dr Lehto stresses the importance of recalibrating your relationship with the present. “Not everything is supposed to be exceptional and extraordinary. Learning to be here, in the present moment, is the first step,” she says. “There is loveliness and joy to be found in everyday moments. The more we can appreciate these and resist the urge to rush towards an imagined pot of gold on the horizon, the more balance and contentment we will experience.” What’s more, it’s important to remember that if we put all our eggs in the basket of achievement, we’re neglecting other aspects of our lives, such as connection, relationships, rest and wellbeing. 

Ultimately, we need to create distance from overachieving behaviours. “It’s helpful to run little experiments to see how changing certain behaviours over a few weeks makes you feel,” Dr Lehto advises. This could mean setting boundaries around work where you leave on time and don’t check emails on your phone after 6pm or before 8am, or spend a month filling your leisure time with hobbies and activities that bring you joy, instead of ones that ‘improve’ you.

“If you’re addicted to achievement, it’s not really about making money, gaining accolades and gathering praise – it means a deeper need is going unmet,” she adds. “In all likelihood that need is connection. That’s why support can also be so helpful, whether it’s a support group, a therapist or a coach.” 

Images: Getty