Welcome back to Stylist’s Sleep Diaries, where we take a deep dive into one of the most important (and elusive) factors in our day-to-day lives: sleep. To help us understand more about it, we invite women to share their habits with our sleep expert Dr Nerina Ramlakhan for analysis.  

Age: 28

Occupation: communications manager

How much water do you drink on average per day? 6 glasses.

How much caffeine do you drink on average per day? 1-2 cups of coffee.

What time do you go to bed at night? 10.30pm.

What time do you wake up in the morning? 7.45am.

How often do you exercise? I exercise 2-3 times a week. I typically do a mixture of dance classes, spin classes, kettlebell workouts, Parkrun and yoga.

Do you eat breakfast within 60 minutes of rising? Yes.

“I can’t remember the last time I was able to lie down and get to sleep easily. When I’m at home, it takes one or two hours, but when I travel or sleep in an unfamiliar bed, I can easily find myself staying awake until past 4am. It usually takes a couple of days for me to get used to a new environment and sleep a little bit better, but that means I usually spend weekends away feeling exhausted.

“Once I do fall asleep, I also struggle with stressful dreams, usually about work, family and friends. It’s strange, because I don’t think I’m particularly stressed – my job as a communications manager keeps me busy, and I’ve recently had a book published, but I take regular breaks and don’t feel overwhelmed. I also tend to spend evenings watching TV and then reading or listening to an audiobook, but no matter how relaxed I feel before bed I still find myself tossing and turning for hours.

“Ultimately, I would just love to learn how to fall asleep faster. I’ve tried various techniques to try and fall asleep faster both at home and on weekends away: I’ve cut down on caffeine, eat breakfast as soon as I wake up in the mornings and drink plenty of water. What would you recommend I try next?”

“You have all the classic signs of being a sensitive sleeper,” says sleep expert and physiologist Dr Ramlakhan. “Naturally, you want to be able to get to sleep with ease, stay asleep, feel refreshed when you wake and, I imagine, get rid of those stress-laden dreams. So where should you start?

“I think you need to focus less on making lifestyle changes and more on learning how to regulate your nervous system so that you feel safe to sleep. Sleep is a process of letting go, trusting and surrendering to the process and the uncertainty of life, so we need to feel safe to get the restful sleep we need.”

She continues: “The fact that you are creative, while undoubtedly a gift, could be adding to your sleep sensitivity, so I’d recommend starting with some pre-bedtime yoga (especially yin yoga) and journaling. I would also love you to pay attention to the quality of your thoughts in the evening and when you get into bed. Are your thoughts grateful, uplifting and peaceful or are they racing, fearful and anxious?

“You could also benefit from reading my book Finding Inner Safety, and in the longer term, I recommend you explore some form of therapeutic technique like somatic experiencing, that enables you to ground yourself, feel safe to inhabit your body and surrender despite any stresses going on in your life.”

Images: Ami O’Callaghan; Dr Nerina Ramlakhan