Welcome back to Stylist’s Sleep Diaries, where we take a deep dive into one of the most important (and elusive) factors in our day-to-day lives: sleep. To help us understand more about it, we invite women to share their habits with our sleep expert Dr Nerina Ramlakhan for analysis.  

Age: 39

Occupation: Journalist

How much water do you drink on average per day? 12 glasses

How much caffeine do you drink on average per day? One coffee and a couple of teas

What time do you go to bed at night? 10pm

What time do you wake up in the morning? 6am

How often do you exercise? I do Bodypump twice a week

Do you eat breakfast within 60 minutes of rising? No

“I’ve struggled with shallow sleep and vivid dreams for years now, and it’s really affecting my energy levels. Having two young children (one of whom wakes up two or three times during the night) doesn’t help, but the sleep I do get never really feels restful or restorative enough. The vivid dreams I struggle with are a big part of this: I’m married, yet I seem to constantly dream about my childhood sweetheart leaving his wife to be with me. This – on top of the disruption – leaves me feeling exhausted.

“I do lead a busy lifestyle, which might be part of the problem. My work in journalism is demanding, so I rarely take a lunch break and often work in the evenings when I have a tight deadline, which is often. I try to squeeze in a workout two times a week (usually Bodypump) and do a little bit of yoga and meditation when I can; it helps me to relax, but also adds another to-do to my list. 

“I’m also going through a hard time personally. I lost my sister in a traumatic way in 2022. We’re still waiting for an inquest into her death, so I’m trying to support my parents through their grief. With everything on my plate right now, it’s not surprising that I’m exhausted – but I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t go to bed earlier because my little one has a hard time getting to sleep, so I’d like to know if there are any ways to build more rest into my day so I don’t feel so spent at the end of it. Can you help?”

“My sleep methodology, which is based on over 25 years of experience, is based on a sliding scale in terms of how we relate to sleep,” says sleep expert and physiologist Dr Ramlakhan. “On one end of the scale there’s the Martini sleeper who can sleep any time, any place, anywhere, and on the other there’s the sensitive sleeper who tends to sleep fitfully, wakes at the slightest noise and has more vivid dreams. 

“You are a sensitive sleeper who seems to be going through a period of sleep sensitivity, likely due to your life stress. During this time, you need to double down on your self-care and sleep routines. So, what does this mean for you?

“I’d suggest cutting back on caffeine and alcohol and eating breakfast within 45 minutes of waking up to steady your blood sugar levels, nervous system and hormones. You would also benefit from getting more rest during the day wherever you can, even if that’s a 5-10 minute power nap using my meditation (which you can find here) to lift your energy levels. When life throws us curve balls, we need to prioritise putting on our oxygen masks and giving ourselves the gift of rest, and this is one of the best ways of doing this.”

She continues: “Now, for your vivid dreams. I’m not overly fond of doing dream interpretation, to be honest, as I believe it is more helpful for people to do their own explorations and find your own answers. But your mind is definitely in overdrive. If you want to get to the bottom of your recurring dream in particular, I would advise that you do some stream of consciousness journaling (including a journal dump first thing in the morning when you’ve had this dream). Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way offers excellent guidance on how to do this. Over time you will not only come to understand the full meaning of the dream but also allow yourself to heal.”

Images: Ami O’Callaghan; Dr Nerina Ramlakhan