Welcome back to Stylist’s Sleep Diaries, where we take a deep dive into one of the most important (and elusive) factors in our day-to-day lives: sleep. To help us understand more about it, we invite women to share their habits with our sleep expert Dr Nerina Ramlakhan for analysis.  

Age: 41

Occupation: Marketing manager

How much water do you drink on average per day? 4-5 glasses of water.

How much caffeine do you drink on average per day? 2-3 cups of tea. On the weekend I have a coffee and a couple of teas.

What time do you go to bed at night? From 10-10:30pm. 

What time do you wake up in the morning? When my toddler wakes me – from 5:30-6:15am.

How often do you exercise? I try to exercise 2-3 times a week but feeling tired and having really broken sleep is getting in the way of that.

Do you eat breakfast within 60 minutes of rising? No.

“I’ve never been a good sleeper, but since having a baby in September 2021 it’s gone downhill. Not only do I struggle to get to sleep in the first place, but I’m often woken up by my toddler throughout the night, after which I find it hard to get back to sleep. He’s nearly three years old now, and he goes through phases of either waking up at 2am and calling for me or waking up really early in the morning and refusing to go back to sleep. Not having a good night’s sleep for that long is taking its toll.

“I also work full-time, which doesn’t make things any easier. My job isn’t hugely challenging, but I still need enough energy to focus and get through the day, and not having a good night’s sleep the night before can make things difficult. I’d also love to keep up a consistent exercise routine, but dealing with broken sleep and feeling tired all the time keeps getting in the way of that. It’s frustrating.  

“Despite this, I do try to exercise two to three times a week, and I’m working on introducing some more healthy habits into my routine. I drink around five glasses of water a day and limit my caffeine consumption, so I only have two to three cups of tea per day. I also try to read before bed so I can go to sleep feeling relaxed, but often end up scrolling or watching TV instead. I often end up doing chores too.

“I’d love to have the time to do more of these healthy habits and nurture my relationship with my partner, but between my busy schedule and persistent tiredness, it’s tough. I’d love to know if there are any factors I can control to help myself fall asleep more easily, and make sure I don’t wake early in the morning when my toddler has a rare lie-in. Do you have any advice?” 

“Being a working mum can take a lot out of you; at this life stage, you need the vital ‘oxygen mask’ of optimal energy and good resources to ensure you’re able to keep up things like your relationship with your partner and healthy lifestyle habits,” says sleep expert and physiologist Dr Ramlakhan. 

“So, what’s the answer? From my point of view, you appear to be a sensitive sleeper, and as such you need to support your nervous system to give yourself the best chance of getting the sleep you crave. This means eating a nutrient-rich breakfast first thing in the morning and not using caffeine as a substitute for food (ie not drinking tea in the morning before you eat breakfast). ‘Front-loading’ your energy in this way will set you up for the day right and increase the likelihood of you getting better sleep at night.”

She continues: “I’d also like for you to start thinking more in terms of ‘rest’ rather than ‘sleep’ when you’re woken by your toddler – especially when he wakes around 5am and refuses to get back to sleep. By 5–6am, it’s likely that you’ve had enough ‘useful’ sleep (although it might not always feel like that), so you can use any spare time you do have to simply rest rather than panicking about getting back to sleep. Having a nap during the day can also help to give you a little pick-me-up if needed; it’s best to do this at some point between 2–4pm, but no later to make sure it doesn’t affect your nighttime sleep.

“Given your sensitivity, I’d also recommend having a wind-down routine before you get into bed in order to decompress your nervous system. This is key for unlocking deep restoration. Watching TV is unlikely to be the most helpful strategy unless you’re watching something uplifting and easy. I’d recommend spending 5-10 minutes on a relaxing skincare routine before practising some gratitude journaling to let go of the day and come back to yourself. I wish you the best of luck!” 

Images: Ami O’Callaghan; Dr Nerina Ramlakhan