Welcome back to Stylist’s Sleep Diaries, where we take a deep dive into one of the most important (and elusive) factors in our day-to-day lives: sleep. To help us understand more about it, we invite women to share their habits with our sleep expert Dr Nerina Ramlakhan for analysis.  

Age: 45

Occupation: Freelance illustrator and digital consultant

How much water do you drink on average per day? Loads!

How much caffeine do you drink on average per day? Two coffees and one cup of tea, always before 11am.

What time do you go to bed at night? I make sure I’m in bed for 11pm.

What time do you wake up in the morning? 5.30am.

How often do you exercise? I run three times a week for approximately 30 minutes each time.

Do you eat breakfast within 60 minutes of rising? No, I usually eat a couple of hours after I wake up.

“I’ve always struggled with my sleep, but that’s not out of the ordinary for my family. We’re all poor sleepers and early risers – we’ll wake up early in the morning and then struggle to get back to sleep. Recently, things have become worse. Nowadays, I’m lucky if I end up staying in bed past 5.30am because I’m just so wide awake and restless.

“I suspect some of this is down to me entering the perimenopausal years; I’m now 45 years old and it’s the only thing that seems to explain it. I believe I live a relatively healthy lifestyle otherwise: I run three times a week for around 30 minutes each time, I stop drinking caffeine after 11am (I usually have two coffees and one cup of tea in that time) and drink plenty of water. Because I wake up so early, I don’t eat breakfast until at least a couple of hours after I wake up, but I have dinner at the same time every night – around 8pm. 

“I’m a freelance illustrator and digital consultant, so I find it hard to slow down my brain. I enjoy how challenging my job is (I’m essentially juggling two roles), but the demands of being a freelancer mean I often work in the evenings and at the weekends. That doesn’t mean I’m super-stressed out; in fact, I feel like I’m less stressed out since I went freelance – but I do tend to get very excited about new ideas and often find my brain working overtime thinking about them. I write down everything I need to do in the mornings to keep up with it all.

“During this pivotal stage of my life, I’d like to take some time to reflect upon the changes I can make to get the sleep I deserve. Am I always doomed to struggle with my sleep like the rest of my family or can I do something about it? I’d love to hear what you think.” 

“The good news is that coming from a family of poor sleepers and early risers doesn’t mean you can’t improve your sleep,” says sleep expert and physiologist Dr Ramlakhan. 

“Many of us think that our sleep patterns and challenges are genetic, but this is unlikely to be the case. It is more likely that we inherit patterns of behaviour and belief systems from our family that set us up for poor sleep. A typical example is that you might think that you’re a night owl, but you come from a family of late sleepers and have simply adopted their behaviours.

“The best place for you to start is to follow my five non-negotiables for a good night’s sleep. You’re not eating breakfast early enough, and even though you have all your caffeine before 11am, your intake is still too high if you’re not pairing it with food. That rush of caffeine on an empty stomach will be sending your nervous system into ‘fight or flight’ mode.

“Eating a nutrient-rich breakfast is even more important considering you may be heading into perimenopause, as it’ll help to keep your energy levels up, stress levels low and enable you to produce adequate amounts of melatonin (which will make a difference when you wake up in the early hours of the morning).”

She continues: “Getting to bed earlier could also help. I’d recommend heading to bed around 9.30–10pm and simply rest by reading a relaxing book, journaling or meditating. This will set you up to sleep more deeply through the night, as your body will be in a more relaxed state before you nod off. You could also make your to-do list at this time, so you don’t wake up with lots of ideas in your head.

“With all of this in mind, it’s important not to fret about waking up in the early hours. It’s totally normal to wake up during this time – in fact, most of us do. What isn’t helpful is to stay awake fretting and overthinking why it has happened. If you do find yourself worrying, try not to look at the time. Use my simple but effective body scan technique (linked here) to put yourself back to sleep. It’s really simple to do – listen to it a few times and then do it yourself without listening to my voice. It really works!” 

Images: Ami O’Callaghan; Dr Nerina Ramlakhan