Welcome back to Stylist’s Sleep Diaries, where we take a deep dive into one of the most important (and elusive) factors in our day-to-day lives: sleep. To help us understand more about it, we invite women to share their habits with our sleep expert Dr Nerina Ramlakhan for analysis.

Age: 37

Occupation: Communications consultant and preschool teacher.

How much water do you drink on average per day? Not as many as I should – probably between three and five. 

How much caffeine do you drink on average per day? Less than a cup of coffee a day.

What time do you go to bed at night? Between 10pm and midnight.

What time do you wake up in the morning? Between 7am and 9am.

How often do you exercise? I don’t work out because the idea of exercising feels exhausting and I don’t enjoy it at all.

Do you eat breakfast within 60 minutes of rising? I don’t usually eat breakfast, but when I do, I eat it around 10am. I find I have stomach issues if I eat it before then.

“I get at least eight hours of sleep every night, but I’m always exhausted. I struggle to fall asleep and often wake up feeling low on energy, so I’ll often have to have a nap in the afternoon to keep myself going. These naps range from 20 minutes to two hours depending on how stressed I’m feeling.

“I’ve dealt with these issues almost all of my life, and I think the problem may be rooted in how active my mind is. For one thing, my dreams are always crazy; sometimes, they’re related to real-life events, but most of the time, they’re all over the place. I used to have recurring dreams about tsunamis in which I was the only survivor, but the tsunamis happened in a different place every time. Now, I have similar dreams but I’m the lone survivor of various incidents – there have been plane crashes, bug infestations and food poisonings, to name just a few.

“Knowing how overactive my mind can be, I’ve tried things like meditation and yoga to unwind, but I’m always too distracted for them to have any kind of impact. The good news is that I don’t really drink caffeine or alcohol and have some really supportive close relationships, all of which help a little. And while I moved countries recently and have been navigating a new job and lifestyle, this isn’t unfamiliar to me as I’m used to making big changes.

“I’d love to get to a point where I can fall asleep instantly and wake up more refreshed (or at least more motivated to get up and do stuff). Have you got any words of wisdom?” 

“Your dreams are working hard for you– they are vivid and filled with disasters and catastrophes, so it’s not surprising that you often wake up tired. 

“We dream for a number of reasons – to pack away the information of the day, to consolidate memories and also to heal and make sense of worries, fears and traumas. It’s likely these dreams are the result of some unhelpful thought patterns and a stressed-out mind, which could be helped by trying some slower practices like meditation. 

“Meditation may not have worked for you in the past, but I’d recommend giving it another go or exploring another active form of relaxation like tai chi or yin yoga. These activities could help you to find a sense of peace and inner safety that, over time, will spill over into your sleep.”

She continues:  “There are a number of other strategies that would help you – you need to eat breakfast, drink more water, go to bed earlier, cultivate a healthier relationship with technology, journal to offload your stressful thoughts and nap less. Doing these things will lead to better rest and hopefully deeper sleep, which will free up energy to exercise. There’s a lot of room for improvement, and I hope this reassures you.”

Images: Ami O’Callaghan; Dr Nerina Ramlakhan