Welcome back to Stylist’s Sleep Diaries, where we take a deep dive into one of the most important (and elusive) factors in our day-to-day lives: sleep. To help us understand more about it, we invite women to share their habits with our sleep expert Dr Nerina Ramlakhan for analysis.

Age: 44

Occupation: Self-employed.

How much water do you drink on average per day? Four pints.

How much caffeine do you drink on average per day? Three cups of coffee.

What time do you go to bed at night? Between 10pm and midnight. 

What time do you wake up in the morning? Between 7.30am–9am. 

How often do you exercise? I walk every day and go outdoor swimming when I can, although the weather makes it tricky.

Do you eat breakfast within 60 minutes of rising? No.

I’ve struggled with my sleep throughout my adult life, but my energy levels are currently at an all-time low due to some stressful events. Not only was my child diagnosed with a heart condition – which they needed an operation to fix – but my husband was diagnosed with stress and diabetes. 

I’ve been feeling a bit all over the place, and my dreams have been incredibly vivid to match; I’ve spent whole nights dreaming of a house with seemingly endless rooms or running away from an undisclosed threat.

I’ve tried numerous things to improve my sleep. I don’t drink, avoid lie-ins at the weekend and try to exercise every day (I walk regularly and swim outdoors when the weather allows). I try to wind down in the evenings before bed by reading, too.

I’d love to understand why I sleep for eight hours every night but still feel so tired. I’m happy to change my routine if necessary – I just need to know where to start. Do you have any advice? 

“There’s one thing that screams out at me when I read your diary and that’s ‘support’. You need more support, both in the form of better lifestyle habits, which will improve your energy levels and sleep, and general support in life. You’re dealing with a lot at the moment, and you may be perimenopausal, which could be affecting your sleep, energy levels and mood.

“Let’s start with the (relatively) easy stuff. You need to try my five non-negotiables for better sleep and, in particular, eat breakfast within at least 45 minutes of rising and cut back on your caffeine consumption. A more regular bedtime routine would also support your energy and give you more restorative sleep. Ideally, you would aim to be in bed and resting at around 9.30pm most nights to set you up for optimal sleep.”

She continues: “More exercise – ideally outdoors – would be good to help you mop up the stress and keep you active as we go into winter. I wonder if you would be open to joining an outdoor swimming group that will not only support you to keep your swimming up over the colder months but also lend a sense of support and camaraderie. I suggest checking out The Blue Tits to see if there’s a group near where you live. 

“A meditation, yoga and journaling practice could also be invaluable for supporting you in this phase of your life when you’re supporting others and need to keep your own batteries replenished.”

Images: Ami O’Callaghan; Dr Nerina Ramlakhan