Welcome back to Stylist’s Sleep Diaries, where we take a deep dive into one of the most important (and elusive) factors in our day-to-day lives: sleep. To help us understand more about it, we invite women to share their habits with our sleep expert Dr Nerina Ramlakhan for analysis.  

Age: 57

Occupation: self-employed

How much water do you drink on average per day? 10 glasses, but I don’t drink anything after 4pm.

How much caffeine do you drink on average per day? I drink two mugs of tea in the morning.

What time do you go to bed at night? Between 10pm–10.30pm.

What time do you wake up in the morning? 7.30am.

How often do you exercise? I do cycling and tennis – on average, I do about three sessions a week.

Do you eat breakfast within 60 minutes of rising? Yes.

“The best way to describe my sleep would be, ‘Sometimes fabulous, sometimes not’. For a few years now, I’ve really struggled with inconsistent sleep patterns – one night I’ll get to sleep easily and wake up feeling rested, and the next I’ll face issues like not being able to get to sleep in the first place (mainly because I need to go to the toilet numerous times before I can nod off).

“In a bid to get control of this I’m very strict about my liquid intake. I drink 10 glasses of water a day – but never after 4pm – and only have two mugs of tea in the morning. I also try to live a relatively healthy lifestyle: I exercise three times a week, enjoy a good breakfast first thing and eat my last meal of the day around 3:30pm so my body has time to rest and digest properly. Right now, I’m not drinking alcohol either, but on average I’d say I get through a bottle of wine in a week. 

“Relaxation and flexibility are key pillars in my life – being self-employed means I can shape my work to suit me, so I take time to cook myself a proper lunch every day and fit my exercise sessions into breaks during the working day. Sometimes I work a bit of overtime in the evenings and weekend, but that only happens once or twice a week and it’s not like I work full time in the day, either. To unwind, I’ll sometimes do some meditation – and I always read my book before bed.

“I’m most concerned about how I can get into a more consistent pattern when it comes to my sleep. I’d love to understand why I sometimes can’t fall asleep for (up to two-three) hours because I need to nip to the toilet but other times I sleep like a log as soon as I hit the pillow, even though my habits stay the same. Do you have any idea what’s going on?” 

“I’m sorry to say that this could be a classic case of you needing to treat your sleep like the good old British Weather – a tad unreliable,” says sleep expert and physiologist Dr Ramlakhan. 

“The thing is sleep can be a bit like that – a bit inconsistent. Sometimes we might do all the right things but still not sleep so well. There are so many factors that can impact our sleep, even factors like the phases of the moon. I don’t mean to sound a bit ‘out there’ but this has been scientifically proven; it is now known that some people are particularly sensitive to the lunar phases and around the time of the full moon, the REM phases of their sleep increase and sleep can feel more fitful and less restorative.

“I’m not saying this is the case for you, but I am asking you to dig deeper and explore what might be going on when you haven’t slept so well. Could it be related to you having a sensitive nature and spending time around certain people or picking certain energies up in certain situations? Elaine Aron’s work and book The Highly Sensitive Person might be an interesting one for you to explore.”

She continues: “You also complain of frequent urination – is this happening on your less than fabulous sleep nights? And if so, are you peeing any significant volume of liquid each time? If you’re not, it could be a sign of pre-sleep anxiety – aka, you’re worried about not sleeping well and feel like you need to be completely relaxed (with an empty bladder) in order to have a restful night. If this is the case, some form of meditation or relaxation technique could be helpful.   

“If you’re passing a lot of urine each time, that’s not ideal – especially given that you stop hydrating after 4pm (which, by the way also isn’t ideal). If this persists and if you experience any pain on urination or otherwise, I would suggest a trip to your GP to rule out a bladder infection or other issues.   

“You also drink a good amount of water – 10 glasses a day – and it might be worth cutting this down slightly to maybe 6-8 glasses and adding a pinch of pure sea salt (Celtic or Himalayan are good) or even trace minerals to your water to facilitate better cellular retention.

“Despite the occasional sleep problems, your energy levels are pretty good and you still seem to be able to do the things you enjoy doing. I would urge you not to place too much importance on those less than fabulous nights and on these occasions perhaps you can put the emphasis on resting well rather than strictly trying to get to sleep.” 

Images: Ami O’Callaghan; Dr Nerina Ramlakhan