Welcome back to Stylist’s Sleep Diaries, where we take a deep dive into one of the most important (and elusive) factors in our day-to-day lives: sleep. To help us understand more about it, we invite women to share their habits with our sleep expert Dr Nerina Ramlakhan for analysis.  

Age: 38

Occupation: Self-employed writer

How much water do you drink on average per day? I tend to drink tea or sugar-free carbonated drinks in the day instead of water.

How much caffeine do you drink on average per day? 1-2 cups of coffee and tea throughout the day.

What time do you go to bed at night? Anytime from 11pm-1am.

What time do you wake up in the morning? Between 7am-7:30am.

How often do you exercise? I don’t exercise regularly.

Do you eat breakfast within 60 minutes of rising? No, sometimes I don’t eat breakfast at all.

“The last two years of my life have been incredibly stressful, and my sleep has taken a massive hit. Several of my family members – including my six-year-old son – have been dealing with life-changing health issues, so I quit my job to become a full-time carer and now work part-time as a self-employed writer on the side. It’s been a lot.

“Unsurprisingly, I’ve been struggling with all kinds of sleep issues – especially when it comes to getting to sleep and staying asleep. And even once I’m asleep the issues don’t stop: I’m often woken up by disturbing dreams where I relive moments from my life to do with my finances or my son’s health with alternative, distressing outcomes. 

“All of this means my energy levels are always low, so I have caffeine throughout the day (I often have my last caffeinated drink around 5pm). I also drink alcohol regularly – right now I get through a few bottles of wine a week – and don’t really drink much water. Skipping breakfast has also become a habit.

“I don’t feel alone in all this – my closest relationships are incredibly supportive – but my current routine isn’t working, and I’d love some advice on how I can unwind and switch off at the end of the day to sleep better. What would you suggest?”

“In life we can find ourselves navigating huge storms – as in your case – and wondering how on earth we will cope,” says sleep expert and physiologist Dr Ramlakhan. “It is in such times that we need to help ourselves to feel our best in every possible way, including getting the restorative sleep we need.

“You’re clearly dealing with a lot right now, but there are some small but powerful tools I believe could make a real difference to how you feel. It’s fantastic that you have a good support system around you and are keen to get some coping techniques under your belt.

“So, where’s the best place to start? I’d recommend beginning by addressing a few of your daily habits. Your alcohol intake is not ideal; while it might help you get to sleep, it won’t help your sleep or energy levels in the long run. Skipping breakfast is also not a good idea, nor is having caffeine so late in the day (caffeine has a half-life of five hours, so at 10pm you’ll still have caffeine in your system) and failing to hydrate properly.”

She continues: “If making all those changes at once feels overwhelming, I’d suggest starting with my five non-negotiables protocol, which is designed to promote good sleep. Three to four weeks of rigorously practising these five steps will set you on the right energy and sleep trajectory – I’m sure of it. In turn, this should help you feel more equipped to deal with everything that’s going on in your life. 

“If you’re feeling overwhelmed or in need of further support, please also make sure to schedule an appointment with your GP. I’m sending you all the good wishes!”

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please don’t be afraid to reach out to your GP or another professional for support.

Please note: the advice in this article is not intended as a substitute for medical advice and support.

Images: Ami O’Callaghan; Dr Nerina Ramlakhan