Decision freeze

Decision freeze, also frequently known as decision paralysis, explains the way that neurodivergent people (ADHDers and autistic people, especially) may become overwhelmed when there are too many decisions at hand and therefore not be able to make any decision at all. For me, this feels like my brain is unable to compute all the different choices, and the pros and cons for each of those choices, and sort of flashes up an imaginary ‘Error 404’ message. When we know we have a certain amount of time to fill before our 2pm appointment, the options of what we could do in that time period might feel endless. On top of this, deciding which order to do those tasks in can make it even trickier – for example, say I have a 2pm appointment that I need to get to, my morning thought process usually goes something like this:

I need to shower. But I want to go to the gym at some point today, so there’s no point in showering before I go to the gym. So I should shower first. But I need to eat before I go to the gym. So I should eat first, and then gym, and then shower. But I’ll need to wait some time between eating and going to the gym. So do I have time to go to the gym? If I eat, that might take about 10 minutes, and then I might need an hour to let my food settle, and then it’s 10 minutes to go to the gym. And then how long do I usually spend in the gym? Maybe about an hour? And then I can shower, does that take about 20 minutes? And then I need 10 minutes to get back. But I know that I usually get distracted so I probably need to allow an extra hour in total to make sure I’m not late for the appointment. Actually I think my car probably needs some petrol before I set off, so how far out of my way is that? And how long will it take me to get to the appointment? So do I have time for all of that?

And then because I’ve spent so much time going backwards and forwards about all the different options and ideas, my brain becomes incredibly overwhelmed and decides, actually, we just won’t do any of it, and I get stuck in waiting mode until the appointment.

Why so many people with ADHD struggle with ‘waiting mode’ – and how to navigate it