This week we’re chatting with success coach Geeta Sidhu-Robb.

Hi, Geeta! If you could recommend One Good Thing everyone can do to improve their mental health, what would it be?

Accept that uncomfortable emotions will happen. Understand that we regularly get uncomfortable feelings that arise from events, interactions, work or just something as simple as when your favourite dress doesn’t seem to fit you today. These feelings cause acute discomfort, so we tend to try to avoid them in any way we can.

Why is embracing uncomfortable feelings your One Good Thing?

Because change is inevitable, and suffering is optional. What I mean by that is that I know I want to keep getting better at things and be happier, but I can’t do that without changing. So, I have found a way to embrace change, because I understand there’s always ultimately something better at the end of it. 

How does your One Good Thing work in practice?

It’s based on the principle that growth does not come through pain. Growth comes through reflection, and reflection usually (unfortunately) comes through pain. So, if we just start on reflection sooner in the process, it makes it all easier and less painful.

What are the benefits of this approach?

I have learned to avoid massive lows and low-hanging anxiety. It’s a really great learning to detach from circumstances as they happen, so you can see them more calmly and react more calmly. This usually leads to a better result because you are dealing with the root cause of the problem.

Are there any common pitfalls we tend to stumble into? How can we avoid these?

Almost no change feels good at the beginning. You can get swept up in that feeling of being out of control and powerless before you know it, and it takes habit to pull yourself back into remembering you don’t have to feel bad right now. What you have to ‘feel’ is the uncomfortable truth under that emotion. 

For example, if someone wants to break up with you, instead of feeling like you have been betrayed and now will be alone forever, sit with the feeling that you know this relationship is not right for you, this person is not making you happy and this change will free you up from playing small and stifling your needs. And then… more good can come into your life.

How do you personally do your One Good Thing?

I do a daily ‘sweep’ of my emotions and focus on the one that I really want to ignore that feels uncomfortable. Then I sit with that and let myself feel it and flow through the truth in it. Sometimes I don’t manage to catch it and I’ll find myself heading for a doughnut with urgency, and I’ll think, ‘Oh, hang on – is there something I’m avoiding thinking about?’ So, I’ll allow those feelings… while I eat the doughnut.

How has doing this changed your life for the better?

I need very little recovery time from any change because I don’t see change as bad anymore; it’s just the flow of life. It makes growing myself, my business and my clients much easier. It’s created a fluid life for me based on more expectations of good things than the previous fear of the future I would have. 

Frame Of Mind is Stylist’s home for all things mental health and the mind. From expert advice on the small changes you can make to improve your wellbeing to first-person essays and features on topics ranging from autism to antidepressants, we’ll be exploring mental health in all its forms. You can check out the series home page to get started.

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