In a sea of ‘shutting my laptop til Monday’ memes, concepts like bare minimum Mondays and colleagues moaning about meetings that fall at the start of the week, the general consensus is that going back to work sucks, and thus a dip in your mood on a Sunday evening is entirely normal – so much so that the phenomenon has a shorthand: the Sunday scaries. 

This isn’t a problem in itself, but here’s where things can get tricky: when the Sunday scaries become so normalised that they’re considered something to be expected, it gets easier to dismiss what might be a bigger problem as standard ‘Sunday night dread’. A seriously toxic workplace, for example. What you might be viewing as the norm could in fact be a warning sign that you need to quit. Or, the Sunday scaries label could be covering up a mental health issue that needs attention. 

So how can you tell the difference between standard Monday dread and a sign that something bigger is going on? Counselling Directory member Kimberley Tomlinson recommends looking at the intensity of your feelings as a first port of call. 

“Not being able to enjoy your Sunday or do anything on the day because your mind is cripplingly preoccupied with the week ahead means that there is probably a bigger issue at hand,” Tomlinson tells Stylist. “Anxiety or panic attacks are also good indicators that there is a bigger issue at hand.” 

If every Sunday you’re an anxious wreck, with ruminating thoughts, extreme worries, or physical symptoms of anxiety such as nausea and headaches, this isn’t something you should ignore. 

It can be helpful to dig deeper into the specifics of your Monday dread, too. It’s OK to not be bouncing eagerly back into the office – after all, the weekend was probably fun and you’d quite like to do more relaxation activities. What’s not so OK are dark thoughts about how miserable you’re going to be during the work week or worries that aren’t rooted in reality. 

Ask yourself what specifically you’re not looking forward to – then see if these things are fixable. For example, if you suspect you’re going to be exhausted by an early wake-up time come Monday, you could aim to get to bed a little earlier on Sunday or chat with your manager about a later start time. These kinds of practical, specific things aren’t cause for major concern. 

“We enjoy the weekend, the lay-ins, the rest and the lack of expectations put on us whereas the start of the work week equates to responsibility and lack of freedom,” Tomlinson notes. “Our associating with working, even if we don’t dislike our jobs, is not positive, it’s the idea that we would much rather be doing ‘something else’ and that something else is ‘better’ than being at work which is what is coming up for the next day.” This is common and no biggie. 

What is concerning, in contrast, is big, generalised worries that are either about the entirety of your job and working culture (which may be a sign you should quit) or are catastrophising or unidentifiable (which can indicate a mental health issue, such as generalised anxiety). Some examples of the latter would be believing you’re going to get fired despite being good at your job, finding the idea of doing your usual tasks terrifying or feeling a sense of complete panic and dread but having no obvious reason why.

“The feeling of not wanting to go back to work on a Monday and the anxiousness around this consistently could be a sign that you need to check in with yourself and your life,” says Terri Regent, a midlife coach. “Are you doing something you enjoy, do you know what’s important to you in your life and are you living your life in a way that feels good to you?”

In short, you need to view your Sunday scaries as a message from your mind. That message might be as simple as: I need to make some changes. Or it might be: I should quit my job. Or it could be: it’s not the job; I’m anxious and I need help. Tune into your feelings and ask yourself for specifics to work out which one applies to you, then take the required action. If your mind is telling you you’re anxious and it’s not just a little bit of end-of-weekend ennui or a need to make your commute a bit nicer, it’s time to seek professional support. 

Frame Of Mind is Stylist’s home for all things mental health and the mind. From expert advice on the small changes you can make to improve your wellbeing to first-person essays and features on topics ranging from autism to antidepressants, we’ll be exploring mental health in all its forms. You can check out the series home page to get started.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, you can find support and resources on the mental health charity Mind’s website and NHS Every Mind Matters or access the NHS’ list of mental health helplines and services.

If you are struggling with your mental health, you can also ask your GP for a referral to NHS Talking Therapies, or you can self-refer.

For confidential support, you can also call the Samaritans in the UK on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org. In a crisis, call 999.

Images: Getty; Stylist