Content note: this article contains several references to suicide and suicidal ideation that readers may find upsetting.

Often, suicide feels like a topic that’s too spiky to touch. We skirt around even saying ‘suicide’, speaking in well-meaning euphemisms and fearing that asking someone if they’re suicidal will spark thoughts of harm. 

It’s understandable that we feel this way. Suicide is a heavy, incredibly emotional subject. It’s not something we want to think about, but the truth is that it’s still there even if we don’t acknowledge it, and by talking around it in whispers, we risk making those who are struggling feel even more isolated. 

By looking at the issue of suicide head-on, we might have a better chance of preventing deaths. A key part of this is knowing what the signs are that someone may be experiencing suicidal thoughts. Another is being aware enough to spot them, in all areas of our lives – and given how much time we spend at work, it makes sense to have an awareness of the signs in the office. 

For World Suicide Prevention Day (10 September), we spoke with Naomi Humber, the head of mental wellbeing at Bupa UK, about how we can all play our part to spot and help colleagues who are struggling. 

“The reasons for suicide can be complex and multifaceted,” Humber tells Stylist. “Ultimately, suicide isn’t something that’s limited to a particular group of people. In some cases, it can’t be predicted, but being aware of the known risk factors may help spot a colleague at risk, so you can signpost them to the support they need.

“Known risk factors for suicide include:

• Having a mental health issue, which may or may not be formally diagnosed.
• Having a history of self-harm or suicidal behaviour.
• Being male. Men are statistically more likely to take their own lives than women.
• Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community.
• Going through a significant negative life event, like bereavement, separation or financial difficulties.
• Struggling with alcohol or drugs.
• Living with a long-term health problem, eg chronic pain, degenerative diseases, disfigurement.
• Working in some occupations, eg high-stress environments or with low pay or job security.”

If someone ticks off the above factors, it doesn’t necessarily mean they must be suicidal, but it’s worth being aware of. If you know someone has an existing mental health issue and is also going through money troubles, for example, additional support should be provided. 

Humber notes that there are some signs that should be read as high-risk, urgent red flags: 

• Your colleague has made threats to hurt themselves or they may have even said that they are going to kill themselves.
• They’ve made plans or gathered equipment that could give them the means to make their suicide possible. For example, they may have been stockpiling medications.
• They’re actively talking or writing about suicide, death and dying. 

In the case of any of the above signs, it’s vital that you seek out support. This may be directing your coworker to their nearest crisis resolution team, helping them to call the Samaritans, or if you think they are at immediate risk, calling 999. 

Other signs that someone at work might be feeling suicidal are:

• There’s been a change in how they present themselves – for example, they may seem depressed, have been absent from work or have neglected their appearance or personal hygiene.
•  Their behaviour has become riskier or more reckless. For example, they may be using an unusual amount of alcohol or drugs without thinking of the consequences. 
• There’s been a change in their work performance – for example, they might be making lots of mistakes or their output has dropped. 
• Their attitude has changed. They might seem angry and irritable or they might seem to care less than they did before.

“If your colleague is showing high-warning signs of suicide, guide them to speak to their nearest crisis resolution team (CRT) or GP urgently,” Humber advises. “CRTs are run by specially trained psychiatrists and psychiatric nurses – find their details via your local accident and emergency department.

“If your colleague is already formally diagnosed with a mental health condition and they’re showing high-risk behaviours, help them to contact their care team or centre where they’re being treated.

“Crucially, if you think there’s any chance that your colleague may die by suicide before they’re able to get the appropriate professional help, call 999 to ask for an ambulance.”

You might not feel comfortable getting more involved. In these cases, talk to your colleague’s manager, your workplace’s HR team or the employee assistance programme to make them aware of your concerns. 

Don’t underestimate the power of talking and listening. “Make sure that you’re in regular contact with a colleague displaying any suicidal signs – just talking to them about how they’re feeling may help,” Humber recommends. “Plus, if they’re avoiding contact with their close friends, reaching out to them, asking how they truly feel and listening to their responses can help to make a big difference now and in the longer term. Remember that opening up like this can take time, but this regular contact is a clear sign to show them that you value them.”

Bear in mind that offering support can take a toll on you, too – make sure you’re caring for yourself in the midst of all this. “Try to take some time out for yourself, where you can, and treat your body well – with healthy food, good sleep and regular exercise,” Humber suggests. 

“It can be helpful to share how you’ve been affected with a trusted support network. Workplace wellbeing initiatives, like employee assistance programmes (EAP) or business health insurance, can provide a valuable outlet to share your experiences with a qualified professional.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, you can find support and resources on the mental health charity Mind’s website and NHS Every Mind Matters or access the NHS’ list of mental health helplines and services.

If you are struggling with your mental health, you can also ask your GP for a referral to NHS Talking Therapies, or you can self-refer.

For confidential support, you can also call the Samaritans in the UK on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org. In a crisis, call 999.

Frame Of Mind is Stylist’s home for all things mental health and the mind. From expert advice on the small changes you can make to improve your wellbeing to first-person essays and features on topics ranging from autism to antidepressants, we’ll be exploring mental health in all its forms. You can check out the series home page to get started.

Images: Getty; Stylist