Content note: this article contains references to eating disorders that readers may find upsetting.

Zeinab* describes anorexia as a “little invisible person” who walks next her; sometimes they feel very present in her life and barely noticeable at other times. But during Ramadan, her eating disorder feels impossible to ignore.

For the month of Ramadan, Muslims fast all day, which means they won’t eat or drink between dawn and sunset. Fasting is seen as very important during Ramadan as it allows Muslims to devote themselves to their faith and is one of the five pillars of Islam, which are the basic requirements of a Muslim. 

Many Muslims around the world consider Ramadan to be the most holy time of the year – one in which abstaining from food and water can heighten their spirituality, making them feel closer to God. But for Muslims living with and recovering from an eating disorder, the month is a trying time as they attempt to contend with all of the preoccupations surrounding food.

In Islam, you are exempt from fasting if you are living with ill health, both physical and mental. However, there is a huge stigma attached to mental illness and eating disorders across society – leaving those living with mental health conditions vulnerable and suffering in silence.

I suffered from an eating disorder in my late teens and early 20s, which came to a head during university. It was a difficult time, and it affected my ability to observe Ramadan in the most conventional sense – through fasting. I didn’t feel as though I received much support from my wider community, mainly because disordered eating is still not very well understood and still very stigmatised.

For seven years I have been unable to fast with my family and friends during Ramadan because of my eating disorder. While fasting is not what Ramadan, the Holy Month celebrated by Muslims, is all about, I found not being able to share that experience with my loved ones devastating.

Zeinab experiences similar struggles. She tells Stylist that it’s not the emphasis on food she finds the most difficult, but rather the guilt. “My family and I always had dinner together and on Eid we would always eat a lot,” she shares. “It’s the preoccupation around how much people talk about food and the questions about why I’m not fasting that I find triggering. The guilt around not fasting makes me anxious.”

Zainab isn’t alone in finding this time difficult. Umairah Malik, Beat’s clinical advice coordinator explains that Ramadan can be fraught for anyone vulnerable to disordered eating. “Fasting can be very dangerous for people affected by eating disorders and so Ramadan can be a really difficult time of year,” Malik says. “For instance, if somebody already has an eating disorder, fasting could worsen harmful behaviours and contribute to them becoming more unwell. Fasting could also contribute to an eating disorder developing for the first time if someone is already vulnerable.”

There are ways to navigate these complex issues. Alia*, now in her mid-30s, experienced an eating disorder in her teenage years and previously found Ramadan difficult. She now feels that she is in a place where she can fast, but takes this decision one day at a time. She also knows that she doesn’t have to fast in order to honour this special time. 

“Some days I don’t feel like fasting, and then I don’t,” Alia shares. “But more often than not, I do feel like fasting and I know it is because I have taken the pressure off myself. Ramadan is a beautiful month, and fasting is not the only way you can observe the holy month. When I was more seriously unwell, I would read the Quran and increase my prayer. I am grateful I am recovered enough to fast but it was all through baby steps.”

“People with eating disorders would be medically exempt from fasting for Ramadan to help protect their health,” Malik emphasises. “We know that not being able to fast can bring feelings of guilt and shame, but we’d like to reassure people that there are many other ways to get involved in Ramadan if they’d like, such as volunteering, donating to charity or setting spiritual goals. Eating disorders are complex and it’s so important that people are able to focus on their health and recovery during this time.”

When I was struggling, being unable to fast made me question my contribution to the Holy Month. I would ask myself: am I doing enough? Am I even a Muslim if I can’t observe one of the five pillars of Islam? It was through engaging in Ramadan in other ways that I found peace, and this is something I would encourage anyone else who finds this period difficult to try the same. Similarly, for anyone who has a close one living with an eating disorder, offering support for practices other than fasting is hugely helpful, as is avoiding talking about food, dieting, and weight. 

Aiman Shahzad, who works in the policy team at Rethink Mental Illness, adds: “You might feel alone in your decision to not fast, and so connecting with other Muslims who aren’t fasting due to an eating disorder can be one powerful way to find community, share experiences and celebrate Ramadan.”

For Zeinab, Ramadan will be a quiet month. “I try really hard to engage with the holy month and do things that make me feel more connected to my faith,” she says. Alia will be taking things one day at a time. As for me, I hope to try fasting again this year – but with the knowledge that if I don’t feel up to it, I am able to stop fasting and instead mark Ramadan in whatever way best works for me.

*Names have been changed

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, you can find support and resources on the mental health charity Mind’s website and NHS Every Mind Matters or access the NHS’ list of mental health helplines and services.

If you are struggling with your mental health, you can also ask your GP for a referral to NHS Talking Therapies, or you can self-refer.

For information and help on eating disorders, visit eating disorder charity Beat’s website.

For confidential support, you can also call the Samaritans in the UK on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org. In a crisis, call 999.

Frame Of Mind is Stylist’s home for all things mental health and the mind. From expert advice on the small changes you can make to improve your wellbeing to first-person essays and features on topics ranging from autism to antidepressants, we’ll be exploring mental health in all its forms. You can check out the series home page to get started.

Images: Getty