Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. Yes, it can drive us to do more, work harder and be the best we can – but constantly striving to be 100% brilliant, 100% of the time, can be seriously wearing.

It’s no surprise, then, that a recent psychological study from the University of New South Wales found that perfectionists are more likely to suffer from burnout. That suggests that burnout isn’t just a result of external stresses in the workplace – it “may also develop as a result of predisposing personality traits”, lead researcher Professor Gordon Parker said.

“People with perfectionistic traits are usually excellent workers, as they’re extremely reliable and conscientious,” he added. “However, they’re also prone to burnout as they set unrealistic and unrelenting standards for their own performance, which are ultimately impossible to live up to.” 

Perfectionists have often grown up “in an environment where achievement was praised and effort was not, where judgement and criticism was frequent”, explains psychotherapist Petra Velzeboer, the CEO of mental health consultancy PVL and author of new book Begin With You. As a result, “their worth becomes locked in with being perfect at all times”, and they might set themselves impossible goals. 

Another potential cause is “a low sense of self-worth”, says Dr Veronica Azua, organisational psychologist and executive coach. “We try to work harder to compensate for not feeling good enough,” she explains. “We work longer hours, take on extra projects and clients, and spend a disproportionate amount of time and energy on a proposal or a presentation. Eventually, if it happens chronically, this becomes exhausting and unsustainable, and it may lead to burnout and negative stress.”

In other words, it’s just not colleagues or bosses that are piling the pressure on – some of it may be coming from you. This can leave you “feeling self-restricted and depleted, with no space for movement and losing a sense of perspective,” Azua says.

Warning signs, Velzeboer adds, might include “worrying about feedback or fallout of a project long after you’ve delivered it”, or “obsessing about every detail of completing a project so that you are losing sleep or feeling anxious when really, it’s not critical to the business or your career path.” You might stop spending time on caring for yourself, whether that’s forgetting to exercise or eating badly. Conversely, “if your appearance and image are part of your perfectionism”, you might further exhaust yourself by “spending even more time on these things”, Velzeboer notes. And as with workplace burnout, there might be physical symptoms too, like headaches or trouble sleeping.  

If you’re in the early stages of burnout, Velzeboer says, “prevention tactics” like journaling, resting and investing in your wellbeing can help. Emma Taylor, clinical lead at online mental health platform Wysa, advises prioritising activities like “relaxation, exercise and socialising”, as well as “visualising what your two or three biggest factors for a happy lifestyle are, and focusing in on those, rather than trying to do everything.” Restricting social media use can help too, she suggests, as “all those filters and distorted images of a perfect lifestyle… won’t make you feel any better.”

But for those who have “reached full-on burnout”, as Velzeboer puts it, “just resting simply isn’t the solution any more.” Speaking to a professional, she says, “can help you get to the root cause of your perfectionism, giving you tools to practice to enable you to let things go, to create structure and help you manage the anxious thinking.”

They will also be able to support you as you learn to start “lowering your standards slightly”, Taylor says. This doesn’t mean “accepting being inadequate”, she explains. Instead, it’s “about thinking what adequate really is. What standards would you hold a friend or loved one to? Chances are you still love them when they aren’t perfect. Practicing self-compassion can help you reassess what is realistic, and what you really need to be doing.” 

It’s crucial, Azua adds, to recognise the difference between positive perfectionism, and its negative, or “maladaptive” counterpart. While positive perfectionism is about “enjoying striving towards perfection, setting high standards but remaining flexible… and knowing when to stop”, its negative equivalent is “often characterised by little to no enjoyment”, as well as “attempts to perform perfectly to avoid negative feedback and being caught up in a ‘never good enough’ mindset.

“Perfectionism is considered positive when we gain satisfaction from whatever task we are perfecting, and negative when the mindset and behaviour become compulsive and unrelenting,” she says. “The mantra of positive perfectionism is: ‘Aim for progress rather than perfection.’” 

Do I have perfectionist burnout?

Velzeboer suggests asking yourself the below questions if you think you might be feeling overwhelmed by perfectionism.

• “How does my body feel – am I feeling anxiety in my body or overthinking during down times?”
• “Do I still find joy or fulfillment in achievement or am I immediately hard on myself for how it wasn’t perfect?”
• “Am I consistently working overtime during evenings and weekends when the project is already done?”
• “Do I hide my symptoms in shame and act like everything is always OK?” 

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with their mental health, you can find support and resources on the mental health charity Mind’s website and NHS Every Mind Matters or access the NHS’s list of mental health helplines and services.

If you are struggling with your mental health, you can also ask your GP for a referral to NHS Talking Therapies, or you can self-refer.

For confidential support, you can also call the Samaritans in the UK on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.

In a crisis, call 999.

Images: Getty