This time around, we’re chatting with Alan Lucas, a mental health expert, author and coach. 

If you could recommend One Good Thing everyone can do to improve their mental health, what would it be?

Realise that you have the power to regulate your emotions. Think of emotions as your ‘energy in motion’ (e-motion) in your body that is responding to your mind, rather than thinking of emotions as just lots of different labels. 

A simple starter exercise, for example, is rather than trying to ‘never get angry’, decide to give yourself 60 seconds to feel the rising emotional energy of any unhelpful anger, and then let it subside. Feel it moving in your body, your ocean of emotion. Bringing awareness in this way to the rising and calming energy moving as a response will help you learn how to better manage its flow.

Why is this your One Good Thing?

The quality of our lives is only as good as the quality of our emotions, so starting there is smart. Realising I have the power to take control of my energy in motion means I never beat myself up for feeling unhelpful emotions. I accept that I will get angry and frustrated at times, but I don’t let it linger too long in my body. I know that I can feel it and then let it pass. And with an increased awareness of my emotional state, I am able to catch myself earlier when emotional intensity starts to build. I can take charge and not let it rage or fire up so much. 

How does your One Good Thing work?

We are all a dynamic system of flowing energy. We are energetic beings. There are things we can do to regulate our emotional state, starting with bringing awareness to our breathing. Count using the inhale and exhale of each breath: inhale 1… 2… 3… 4… 5; exhale 1… 2… 3… 4… 5. Making these deep diaphragmatic breaths will help regulate your nervous system. Bringing focus to your breath also takes your mind off unhelpful thoughts, and therefore changes your body’s energetic response.

What benefits can we see from learning to regulate our emotions?

Never again let your emotions ‘get the better of you’. Become the manager of your emotions rather than being at the mercy of them. Angry thoughts, for example, can cause parts of our brain to effectively shut down as we go into survival mode and we can lose perspective. When we are reacting in the moment, we are more likely to do things and say things we might regret.  

Are there any potential pitfalls we might face when trying to do this? How can we avoid them?

The key is to keep practising. You don’t go for a single run or work out at the gym once and then miraculously you’re fit! It’s easy to get lost in old unhelpful patterns. Forgive yourself if you do, and focus on reprogramming yourself to take charge of your energy in motion. It’s also important to remember that not all anger is unhelpful. 

How do you personally do your One Good Thing?

Breathing, breathing, breathing. I count with my breath. It all starts with awareness and getting better at spotting the stirring of my emotion before it turns into a raging storm. I accept I am going to feel annoyed at times, but I realise the power I have to take charge of my emotional state. I realise my emotion is really just a response in my body to my mind.

How has doing this changed your life?

When angry or frustrated, I’m much better at pausing and considering my responses. This helps in all relationships: business and romantic. I have a much greater awareness of how my emotion stirs and the changes in my physiology as a result. Managing my emotional state is better for me, and a better me is better for everyone, especially my wife and children. 

Frame Of Mind is Stylist’s home for all things mental health and the mind. From expert advice on the small changes you can make to improve your wellbeing to first-person essays and features on topics ranging from autism to antidepressants, we’ll be exploring mental health in all its forms. You can check out the series home page to get started.

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