This week we’re chatting with Dr Gilly Kahn, a clinical psychologist and writer currently working on a book about ADHD in women.

Hi, Gilly! If you could recommend One Good Thing everyone can do for their mental health, what would it be?

Be your own third-person omniscient narrator. Here’s an exercise I practise as a neurodivergent psychologist and writer: whenever I feel stuck in my creative flow or in an uncomfortable emotion, I take a step back as if I’m encountering my own out-of-body experience. Then, I narrate my thoughts and behaviours from a third-person omniscient point of view.

Why is this your One Good Thing?

I think that, in general, we sometimes become too entangled within ourselves. We internalise our thoughts and feelings and lose track of our actual behaviours. This activity can help us pause and just observe our thoughts, feelings and behaviours, in a non-judgmental and possibly even light-hearted way.

I once saw a teen in therapy who told me he did this once in class while trying to understand the other teens’ behaviours. He was autistic, and it was hard for him to know what to do in each particular social situation with his peers. So, he started sitting in the corner of class and literally taking observational notes using deidentified names. The idea was honestly ingenious, assuming no one noticed he was doing it (and they didn’t). I encouraged him to continue, and this really did help him. I think it helped him because it allowed him to learn social skills in a self-compassionate and objective way.

And I believe that if we turn this activity around on ourselves, it can serve the same purpose – perhaps even a deeper one. How can we really understand and be OK with ourselves if we don’t stop and observe ourselves as we are? And there’s probably no better way to do this than in writing. Because writing is concrete, it’s in front of your face, and it requires you to shut up and create.

One Good Thing: why you should try being your own third-person narrator