This Sunday we’re chatting with Olivia Roberts, the author of How to Find Confidence in Five Minutes a Day, a proactive guide to becoming a stronger, more empowered you.

Hi, Olivia! If you could recommend One Good Thing everyone can do to improve their mental health, what would it be?

Talking to one new person a day. It may seem strange, but for those of us who get caught up in our usual daily routines, we might fall into the trap of speaking to the same people day in, day out. Or, if you work from home, speaking to absolutely no one. Talking to a stranger (safely, of course) can get us out of our comfort zone and boost our confidence.

Why is this your One Good Thing?

It is far too easy these days to go about life on autopilot with our heads in our phones, but having impromptu, unusual interactions with people around us – no matter how brief they may be – can bring us out of our bubble and have us interacting with the outside world. Even the smallest conversations can make a huge difference to your day and leave you feeling more positive.

OK, so how do we do it?

It doesn’t need to be with a complete stranger, but having novelty interactions each day could help to keep things interesting and fresh, and boost your confidence. Tell the person serving coffee to have a nice day. Say hello to the postman. Ask someone in the gym for advice on using a new machine. Compliment someone’s outfit. If you are out and about in your community there are usually lots of opportunities to speak to people, so get creative.

And what benefits could we see from putting ourselves out there?

Besides just enjoying the interesting conversations that could come from speaking to someone new each day, studies have found talking to strangers can improve our mood. In fact, one study of 60,000 people discovered that small interactions such as greetings and saying thank you influenced the wellbeing of participants, so it doesn’t need to be deep discussions. If the simple act of saying hello could improve your day, why not?

Are there any common pitfalls of your One Good Thing? How can we avoid them?

I think many people assume talking to strangers will leave us with a negative outcome if we can’t predict how they will react, or if they will become overfamiliar, and studies support this. Instead of worrying about rejection or what could come from saying hello to someone, try to switch your thinking and ask yourself; “How can I improve this person’s day?” It could help to focus on the impact you might have on them, rather than the impact they could have on you.

Also, don’t be discouraged by one negative interaction. Not everyone will be receptive to chatting or even returning a smile, but that’s OK. Don’t let one perceived rejection ruin your day or stop you from interacting with others. Many people will be glad to chat! 

How do you personally do your One Good Thing?

I work from home, and I can tell my confidence is shrinking when I lack social interaction. I tend to withdraw and get in my own head. Social confidence is something that can be practised, so even when I don’t have many natural interactions in my day-to-day life, I try to manufacture these as much as possible.

For me, this usually means going to a coffee shop to work remotely, and speaking to the person who makes my coffee. Or, if I spot someone else working on their laptop, I like to ask what they are working on. If you plan to do this, be careful not to interrupt people if they are busy – I just ask a couple of questions out of curiosity and then tell them to enjoy their day!

How has doing this changed your life for the better?

As a freelancer who works mostly solo, I really think being proactive about speaking to other people on a regular basis has improved my confidence, low mood and self-esteem. It’s far too easy to get into a downward spiral of feeling lonely, and as a result, overthinking every interaction you have with people. Speaking to one new person a day is relatively accessible, and the more you do this, the easier it becomes, and the more positive and confident you are likely to feel.  

Frame Of Mind is Stylist’s home for all things mental health and the mind. From expert advice on the small changes you can make to improve your wellbeing to first-person essays and features on topics ranging from autism to antidepressants, we’ll be exploring mental health in all its forms. You can check out the series home page to get started.

Main image: Adobe