Feeling lonely is an ironically universal experience, one we’ve all had at some point in our lives. But there is something about summer that can heighten an already difficult emotion: when the weather is good and holiday season is in full swing, it is easy to feel like you’re the only person in the world who’s not out with friends and family, having fun and making memories.

Social media comparison doesn’t help either: one quick scroll through the summer parties, picnics in the park and festival group shots is enough to make you feel isolated if you’re not doing the same. When the temperature rises, so too does the pressure to have a packed-out social life – but the truth is, lots of us feel like we just don’t have the connections to make that dream a reality. 

Loneliness is on the rise, with around 3.7 million people in the UK reporting that they feel lonely ‘often’ or ‘always’ at the beginning of this year. Women and people aged 16-29 are most likely to be affected, and according to a YouGov study, more than 52% of women say they are struggling to make new friends. The Marmalade Trust, the UK’s leading loneliness charity, has called it an epidemic, and this June it is running Loneliness Awareness Week to encourage connection and conversation around a vital issue.

There is no one-size-fits-all fix to feeling lonely, but it can be reassuring to know that others have struggled with a similar issue and found an approach that worked for them. Which is why Stylist asked seven women to share the best pieces of advice they’ve ever received on loneliness – from taking a social media break to reframing your thoughts, here’s what they had to say. 

Get a good night’s sleep

“Getting a good night’s sleep can really help with loneliness. Poor sleep lowers your overall resilience, can cause negative thoughts to become overwhelming and make it harder for you to appreciate the social contacts you have.”

Emma, 42

Find your people

“The best thing I ever did was find my people. I’ve found a community group for all the struggles I’ve been through in life, from fertility issues to anxiety and depression. These are the kind of people you can learn so much from, as they’ve been through similar struggles to you. 

“I’ve found that growing and learning together has such a huge impact on our wellbeing, as it builds a connection unlike any other. There’s a common misconception we have to do everything on our own – but actually, the most resilient people have found their communities and their people.”

Bex, 32 

Finding someone isn’t always better than being alone

“Many years ago, when I was a single mum working as a nurse in A&E, I was chatting to a very lovely and incredibly spritely 91-year-old lady about life and love and she gave me the best piece of advice of my ‘lonely’ single years: it’s better to live alone than in bad company. It was the truest thing I ever heard and a lesson not to settle for less than good enough.”

Lynsey, 45 

Go offline

“Take a social media break – watching everyone’s highlight reel can make you feel lonely.”

Suzanne, 34

Work on accepting yourself

“There have been times in my life when I have felt really lonely, even though on the outside I was busy and had a full life. I think many people believe loneliness to be a place where you are always by yourself, but sometimes it’s far lonelier to be surrounded by people who aren’t on the same page as you. 

“Everything changed for me when I came to fully love myself – when I accepted all that I am and all that I am becoming. That feeling of ‘different’ can be so lonely but it doesn’t have to be when you see the ‘different’ as your superpower.”

Helen, 41 

Challenge your thoughts

“I felt lonely while suffering from postnatal depression and the best advice I got was to look at it from an objective standpoint to see whether I really was lonely. When I gave it a good think, I realised I had more people ready to help and support me than I could count. 

“The loneliness was just an internal feeling, but sitting down and writing down a list of all the people I knew loved me and were there for me made a massive difference to the way I felt. In fact, I was more supported than ever – I just didn’t want to see it at the time.”

Ivana, 38 

“I’m not sure where I got this advice from, but it’s an approach I’ve carried with me throughout my adult life. Whenever I’m feeling lonely or that I don’t have enough friends, I try to be really proactive about making plans with the people I love. 

“I often realise that the isolation I’d been feeling was the result of some pretty dramatic overthinking rather than a reflection of reality – and seeing the people I love spending time with helps to boost my spirits, too.”

Lauren, 25

Additional words: Meena Alexander
Images: Getty