This time we’re chatting with Patience Chigodora, a hypnotherapist and founder of The Inner Verses.

Hi, Patience! If you could recommend One Good Thing everyone can do to improve their mental health, what would it be?

I would wholeheartedly shout from the rooftops: “Heal your inner child!”

Why?

Healing your inner child is transformative because it reveals the underlying reasons you are the way you are as an adult. By the time we’re seven to 10 years old, our emotional and mental foundations – how we see the world, how we give and receive love – are already established. It’s thought that during these formative years, we develop attachment styles based on how our caregivers respond to our needs. These styles – secure, anxious, avoidant or disorganised – shape our emotional responses, self-worth and relationships well into adulthood.

In adulthood, we often unconsciously replay these early attachment patterns and traumas. Whether it’s low self-esteem, anxiety, relationship or money challenges, these issues often stem from childhood experiences. Inner child healing addresses these core wounds, allowing us to heal what manifests as emotional and psychological struggles in our adult lives. The awareness this practice brings is liberating because it reveals two powerful truths: everyone is operating from their inner child – whether wounded, healing or healed; and the experiences and people that trigger us are often reflections of our inner child asking to be seen, heard and loved.

It sounds lovely to heal our inner child. But how do we actually do it?

Inner child healing is about reconnecting with, nurturing and understanding the child within us who may have experienced trauma, neglect or unmet needs. The process typically involves:

• Affirmation: acknowledge your inner child’s experiences, accepting these as a real and valid part of you. Treat yourself with the same love and care you’d show a child, validating and affirming their feelings.
• Curiosity: to truly understand who you are today, it’s essential to explore your early years. Reflect on how experiences from your first seven to 10 years of life have shaped your present self. This exploration can be done through meditation, visualisation or journaling, which helps create a safe space for connecting with your inner child. You can reconnect by engaging in activities you enjoyed as a child, and embrace the joy, creativity and playfulness they bring, eg through creative outlets like writing or art. Consider displaying a picture of your younger self in a place you see daily as a constant reminder to offer that child love and care.
• Expression: it’s important to feel and acknowledge your emotions without judgment. Embrace the fact that all your feelings – whether joyful or painful – are valid and deserve recognition. It’s safe to honour both the positive and challenging experiences you’ve had, free from fear, shame or guilt. While our parents or guardians did their best, there may have been moments when their efforts didn’t fully meet our needs. It’s OK to acknowledge that and honour your own truth. Your feelings matter, and it’s important to give them the recognition and respect they deserve.

And what benefits could we see from starting this process?

At our core, every human craves to be seen, heard and loved. When these fundamental needs are unmet, inconsistently met or excessively fulfilled during childhood, the resulting wounds often follow us into adulthood. Without understanding the origins of these issues, we tend to apply temporary fixes and wonder why we keep encountering the same patterns in different situations. Addressing these root causes is essential for breaking free from repeating old patterns.

The benefits of inner child healing include:

• Emotional healing: healing our inner child helps release and process repressed emotions, which leads to a healthier emotional state. By addressing and integrating these buried feelings, you can heal from the inside out. Healing takes time, but each step helps you reconnect with your true self – realising that your worth isn’t defined by the actions of others. That burden belongs to them, not you.
• Improved relationships: addressing past wounds enables us to form healthier, more fulfilling relationships. When we heal our inner child, we move beyond insecurity and codependency, allowing us to connect with others from a place of emotional security and genuine intimacy. This fosters more supportive and enriching relationships.
• Increased self-esteem: nurturing our inner child fosters self-love, self-acceptance, and a stable sense of self. As we learn to value and care for our inner child, we enhance our self-esteem and develop a stronger, more resilient identity.
• Enhanced coping mechanisms: we develop better ways of using the tools we already possess to handle stress and life’s challenges with resilience. It’s about learning how to use these tools in a way that benefits us.
• Personal growth: this journey encourages self-awareness and personal insight, allowing us to become more authentic and aligned with our true selves.

What are some common pitfalls of your One Good Thing? How can we avoid them?

Inner child healing isn’t about dwelling on the past or indulging in self-pity (though I believe in allowing yourself a brief pity party when needed). It’s about reclaiming the parts of ourselves that were buried or suppressed, transforming pain into power and purpose. Common challenges include:

• Resistance to facing painful memories: this process can be emotionally intense. Take it slow and seek the guidance of a professional specialising in inner child healing, whether through hypnotherapy, psychodynamic therapy, or holistic energy work.
• Self-criticism: as children, we often internalise blame and shame, making everything about ourselves. In adulthood, we must retrain our minds to practice self-compassion and let go of burdens that aren’t ours to carry. Healing, not perfection, is the goal.
• Inconsistency: inner child healing is a lifelong process. Make it a lifestyle by incorporating consistent practices – daily or weekly meditation, displaying childhood photos, and engaging in activities you loved as a child. Remember, as you grow and evolve, new wounds may surface, requiring ongoing healing for different versions of your inner child.
• Isolation: healing can feel overwhelming if done alone. Surround yourself with supportive friends, join groups with others on a similar journey or work with mental and spiritual wellness practitioners who can guide and hold space for your growth.

How do you personally commit to inner child healing?

For me, inner child healing is a lifestyle. I’ve committed to it as part of my journey, knowing that the longest relationship I’ll ever have is with myself. I keep photos of myself at different ages – from newborn to my early 20s, during periods of significant trauma – both printed and as my phone background. This keeps me constantly aware of my inner child. I also watch cartoons and animations to tap into that comforting childhood joy.

I regularly engage in holistic therapy; energy healing, such as reiki; and participate in generational and ancestral healing circles. I’ve used hypnotherapy to address childhood fears and phobias and highly recommend it. Staying physically active through hot yoga, pole fitness and jiu-jitsu connects me to the sports and activities I loved as a child. I also make it a point to try new activities each month to keep my sense of curiosity alive. Travel, especially solo travel, is another form of inner child healing for me, reminding me of the excitement I felt as a child experiencing new places.

I also write letters to my younger self, journal regularly and engage in inner child meditations. Spending time with my nieces and nephews brings out my playful side and helps me stay connected to that spontaneous, joyful energy.

And how has doing this changed your life for the better?

Healing my inner child has completely transformed my life. It’s been the foundation for turning my pain into purpose and helping others on their healing journeys. This process has allowed me to release old wounds and generational traumas that weren’t mine to carry in the first place. I’ve found a deep sense of peace and self-acceptance. My relationships have improved, especially the one I have with myself. I stay curious about who I am and why I respond the way I do, which has made me more empathetic and understanding toward myself and others. I’ve developed healthier coping mechanisms that align with who I am now and who I’m becoming.

Ultimately, inner child healing has allowed me to live a more authentic, fulfilling life – one filled with curiosity, love and compassion for the person I’ve always been and am continuously becoming.

Frame Of Mind is Stylist’s home for all things mental health and the mind. From expert advice on the small changes you can make to improve your wellbeing to first-person essays and features on topics ranging from autism to antidepressants, we’ll be exploring mental health in all its forms. You can check out the series homepage to get started.

Images: Adobe; Getty