So how do we start to embrace all those emotions?

When we ignore our emotions, they don’t just vanish: they fester inside. When our emotions arise, we can take a step back and try to observe them without judgment. This is developing our emotional intelligence or the ability to identify, understand and utilise our emotions to our advantage.

For instance, let’s say you have a negative view of your own anger and try to shove it down whenever possible. No one can be calm all the time, and chances are, you’ll eventually crack. When this happens, you might spiral and think you’re the worst person alive… or go to the opposite extreme and think any poor behaviour because of your anger is justified because you ‘never get to be angry’.

The truth is that emotions are morally neutral… and our emotions are not our behaviour. Emotions inform our behaviour, but more often than not, we have a choice in how we behave. Listening to your emotions instead of shoving them down helps you make informed decisions about how you respond to difficult situations, letting you be more in control of your life.

What benefits could we start to see by giving ourselves permission to feel all emotions?

Repressed emotions have a tendency to erupt like a volcano when we least expect it and at magnitudes we can’t anticipate. My condition means I dissociate, or disconnect from my emotions, body and/or reality against my will. It’s a defence mechanism I can’t control, designed to stop my brain and body from enduring the stress of re-experiencing trauma. Even the tiniest bit of stress, including big emotions, can cause my brain to ‘tap out’.

However, my emotions and memories do come back, and they’re often more powerful than they were originally. The more you accept and validate your emotions when they crop up, the less likely those ‘eruptions’ are to happen later. Over time, your body and brain will be less stressed: you’ll be able to sleep better, think more clearly and avoid the nasty consequences of being tense all of the time. Plus, if you’re prone to dissociation, you’ll be far more in touch with yourself, your emotions and your life on a day-to-day basis.

One Good Thing: repressing your emotions can harm your mental health – here’s how to release them instead