1. Take care of yourself

Unpicking your people-pleasing tendencies can take a lot of time and effort, so it’s a good idea to start with the basics. You may not realise it, but as a people-pleaser, you’re probably engaging in a bit of self-neglect – and taking steps to rectify this will empower you to make bigger changes down the line.

“Hands up if you’ve recently got up from a particularly busy stint at your desk and realised you’re absolutely busting for a wee or found yourself skipping lunch without realising it,” Lue asked the audience. “We might think those are just examples of us being a good worker, mother or friend, but they’re actually signs of self-neglect. So if you can even start allowing yourself to go to the toilet when you need to go and eat your lunch at the right time without making yourself feel like a terrible person for taking a break, that’s a simple way to start getting into the habit of meeting your own needs.”

How to stop people-pleasing: 3 straightforward tips from boundaries and relationship coach Natalie Lue