This time we’re chatting with Shelby Leigh, a bestselling mental health author of Changing With The Tides and new book From Sand To Stars.

If you could recommend One Good Thing everyone can do to improve their mental health, what would it be?

My One Good Thing is taking small steps once a week to challenge yourself and push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Sounds a bit scary… why is it worth doing?

Many of us fall into a routine. We have anxieties and fears that are holding us back from accomplishing goals, and we don’t consistently take action to improve or overcome them. By committing to just one small step each week, you will be taking attainable action that you can truly stick to and see results from. 

Doing this One Good Thing each week is incredible for your long-term mental health, self-doubt and anxiety. When you can prove to yourself that you actually can do something you thought you couldn’t, your confidence is boosted. Over time, you’ll doubt yourself less because you’ll have a running list of all the things you thought you couldn’t do, but you’ve proved yourself wrong.

And how do we do it?

Start with a goal you’d like to work on. This could be a self-improvement goal, a career goal, a relationship goal or something else. Let’s do a couple of examples. If your goal is to make more friendships, but you get anxious when meeting new people, your first small step might be joining a local Facebook group that shares a similar interest/hobby with you. The following week, your small step could be introducing yourself to the group. The following week could be asking someone in the group to get coffee or attending a group event.

If your goal is to get better at public speaking and reduce your fear ahead of a big presentation, your first small step could be watching some videos on how to be a better speaker. The next week your step could be standing in front of a mirror and practising your presentation. The following week, do your speech in front of someone you trust or join a public speaking group. 

What are some common pitfalls of your One Good Thing? How can we avoid them? 

The most common pitfall is not proactively planning what your small step will be that week and how you’re going to take action on it. You’ll be far more likely to stick to it if you set aside some time in your calendar to follow through. Without a reminder, you may forget about it entirely or let it fall to the bottom of your priority list. Making progress to improve your confidence should be a priority, so make sure you have a reminder in your calendar every week. Choose a time when you know you’ll be available to spend a few minutes on your small step.

The other thing you can do is break down the steps – as I’ve done in the examples above – so you know exactly what small step you’re going to take each week. This will save you from having to think too much when the time comes. You can spend that time taking action.

How do you personally challenge yourself? 

I start my week off every Monday with my one small step. It’s on my calendar as a recurring task so I don’t forget, and in that calendar event, I list out the goals I’m currently working on and any small steps I’ve previously thought of so I can pick the next one and do it. I picked Monday morning because it’s a great way to start my week. It gives me a boost of confidence and power, and I can continue my week knowing I’ve made my confidence and growth a priority.

And how has doing this changed your life?

It’s done so much for me. I have always experienced anxiety and self-doubt in many facets of life – relationships and friendships, career goals, public speaking and more. I always wanted to be a writer, but had so much fear about sharing it with anyone. My first small step was sharing a poem anonymously online, and seven years later, through more and more small steps, it has led me to be the author of multiple bestselling books, get multiple book deals, build a following of more than 500,000 online who know me and connect with me (no longer anonymous!), start a company and has led to many speaking opportunities, such as speaking at one of the largest book festivals near Dubai (Sharjah International Book Fair) last year.

None of this would have been possible if I hadn’t taken the small steps necessary to get out of my comfort zone and commit to proving my self-doubt wrong. And it’s not over – I have more goals I want to achieve, so my One Good Thing is going to stay on my calendar every week!

Frame Of Mind is Stylist’s home for all things mental health and the mind. From expert advice on the small changes you can make to improve your wellbeing to first-person essays and features on topics ranging from autism to antidepressants, we’ll be exploring mental health in all its forms. You can check out the series home page to get started.

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