Not everyone has a career or a personal situation that allows them to work from home, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t pursue a degree of flexibility in your working life.

Flexible working requests are a right from your first day of employment, and can encompass a whole range of possible scenarios that can support you to do your job more effectively and efficiently, which benefits everyone. The key is nailing down what that looks like and spelling it out.

“Employers are now required to accommodate flexible working as far as is reasonably practicable,” explains Kate Palmer - Employment Services Director at Peninsula. 

“Employees can make two requests per year and employers must respond to these requests within two months. Have an open and honest conversation with your employer about the reasons why you are making a request for flexible working, the benefits it will bring to both you and the business, and any potential compromises that would help if they are unable to grant your full request for business reasons.”

So what could those potential requests look like?

“Different kinds of flexible working requests could include job sharing, where two people do one job splitting the hours between them, remote working, hybrid working, or working full-time hours over fewer days, for example, a four-day work week, or nine-day fortnight.”

“You could also explore flexitime, where the employee works certain ‘core hours’ but chooses when to start and finish work around those hours; annualised hours, where an employee works a set number of hours per year but has some flexibility around when they work; or staggered hours, meaning they have different start/finish times than other employees.” 

When you have a head full of responsibilities without the luxury of time everyone else seems to have, it’s easy to forget about the bigger picture.

“Whether it’s being a mum, caring for ill parents or any other life matter that is taking up your emotional energy and time, I think it can be helpful to start from a place of acceptance about the new reality,” advises career coach Rachel Grace Elliot.

“Acceptance helps us see that we can’t compete or operate in the same way we did previously - not just because of the new obligations,but because of the increased need for rest that we’lll inevitably need. We have new priorities and with that comes new goals, habits and behaviours that need setting and implementing.

“Make a list of where your time is going in the day, including which times are non-negotiable for your children and other life responsibilities, and which are times that could be used for work. Who can you ask for support? Do you need to put some pride aside to ask for help and make things easier for yourself? Speak to someone you trust who can help you zoom out.” 

When you’re a mum, things happening outside your control is par for the course, but that doesn’t have to mean people thinking poorly of you if you have to make adjustments at work.

Emma Spitz, Parental Transition Coach and Director of Clients & Programme Management at the Executive Coaching Consultancy, advises being open with your colleagues when this happens to save yourself the stress and potential burnout of working twice as hard to cover the issue.

“If you’re going through a tough time outside of work, it’s important to share this with your manager and team,” she says. “Communicate any help or support you might need to ensure you can continue to perform effectively.

“We are all human, and there are times when we might struggle emotionally or physically, particularly after having a baby. A big part of authenticity is being honest with ourselves about what is and isn’t working at work. It’s about being proactive in sharing these perspectives constructively with your manager, which in turn is helpful for the manager and the team – they can’t support things they are not aware of.

“A good employer, manager and colleague will want to support you during these moments. Be clear about what might make a difference for you, and don’t be afraid to ask for help and show vulnerability. In my experience, you will be pleasantly surprised by the response.

“Also, consider being a role model for other working parents. Your honesty and authenticity will give others permission to show up as themselves too.”

Shefali Davda-Bhanot, Head of Talent at Doccla, also vouches for transparency as it can pave the way for practical solutions, saying: “I recommend sharing relevant information about your responsibilities as a parent, such as pregnancy, sleepless nights, or other challenges. This transparency can foster understanding and support.”

When it comes to having a conversation with your manager that a) doesn’t make your toes curl and b) brings you clarity and power when it comes to managing your workload and personal responsibilities, it’s all about re-centring the narrative.

“The best approach is to depersonalise the conversation,” advises Sam Price, Talent Solutions Director at RPO1 Powered by Morson.

“We’re in a really challenging skills market and lots of talented women leave the workplace after maternity leave because of the difficulty of balancing work and home responsibilities, but we need to keep those talented women in their roles.

“My advice would be to approach an HR professional for any difficult conversations and lead with objectivity.

“Ask your employer to look at their policy. Then you’re not making personal demands; you’re suggesting improvements that will help your employer attract and retain more women and parents. Women are not going to rush to get pregnant just because of a positive maternity policy, but they might just accept a job or invest in their role if they feel supported by a progressive workplace.

“You can steer the conversation in a positive direction by asking your manager’s opinions – they may be more open and positive than you expected. Rather than expecting a battle, go into the conversation with workable solutions and explain how they could have positive benefits for the company as well as employees.” 

Much like the infamous glass ceiling, the invisible barrier of the ‘sticky floor’ can keep many working mums sticking it out at a workplace they’ve outgrown instead of seeking progression or a different job that may be more exciting or fulfilling. This comes from fear of not being able to find an employer that’s as flexible as their current one, according to the White Paper commissioned by Maltesers.

Hannah Pearsall, Head of Wellbeing at Hays encourages you to be bold, to avoid getting trapped in a situation that no longer suits your needs.

“If it’s an industry where hybrid working is feasible, employers are likely to continue to offer this working pattern due to its ongoing appeal to professionals”, she says.“If you’re unhappy in your role and the negatives outweigh the positives, I suggest taking the plunge and looking elsewhere, as you may be able to negotiate flexible working in a new position, especially if they recognise that you’ll be an asset to their business.”

That being said, Sam adds that it’s also important to consider whether or not you’re facing a ‘sticky floor’ or doing what you need to do in that moment. “The sticky floor is a perceived fear and it creates a self-limiting narrative,” she explains.

“Sometimes, it’s important to embrace a period of reflection, rather than seeing it as a sticky floor. There is a time to prioritise your career, and for some women that might be after they return from maternity leave. For others, it may be when their child starts school or later. Don’t see taking a step back from career ambition as a sticky floor, see it as a positive choice to take your own career at your own pace. It’s not easy, but all career decisions involve risk and this is just one more risk factor to manage.”

Why has ‘mum guilt’ become common parlance when in popular culture you rarely see men exhaling and complaining to their friends about ‘dad guilt’?

Despite 79% of mums in the UK feeling guilty about not spending enough time with their children, Kate encourages women to reframe that thinking.

“When your daughters turn round and speak to you with admiration because you are a ‘boss lady’ (their words not mine) and show respect for what you do, then you realise what an example you are setting. That is really rewarding,” she says.

“When my working friends talk to me about the ‘mum guilt’ they have, I am quite strong, and almost defiant, in telling them that they are overthinking. They are providing for their family and are happy because they are self-fulfilled, doing rewarding work and setting a good example for their children about how hard work and determination pays off in many ways. As mums we can put too much pressure on ourselves to be everything to everyone and it is nonsense.”

Shefali adds: “I have changed my mindset around mum guilt. I value our quality time we have together, early in the morning and in the evening, however it is important for me to work to also show my boys the importance of contributing financially in the home. Practice self-compassion by being kind to yourself. Understand that balancing work and parenthood is challenging and it’s okay not to be perfect.”

Sometimes, just having people who are going through the same daily experiences as you can help to put a pause on the burnout.

“Building a strong network will allow you to feel supported and to connect with women who can relate to what you’re going through,” says Hannah.

“Speaking to like-minded people not only helps during times of need but can also empower you to reach your full potential in terms of your career in the long run. When you are feeling overwhelmed, take a step back to see the bigger picture so you don’t lose sight of your overriding goals and priorities, both personally and professionally.”