It’s tempting to think that looking after your mental health is as simple as taking medication or going to therapy. But the reality is it’s so much more than that. It’s the moment-to-moment decisions, the way we react to things, how we process our emotions. It sounds like a lot of work, we know, but the benefits of putting in this effort are far-reaching. 

Sort out your own toolkit for mental wellbeing and you’ll be equipped to deal with whatever obstacles appear in your path. You’ll feel better emotionally and physically. You’ll feel more stable and in control. 

But how do you build that toolkit, you may ask? Emotion regulation skills are a good place to start. Ahead, mental health and wellness community app TruConnect shares some tips on how to learn these. 

“If we are not self-aware, we are going to have a hard time being aware of our emotions,” explains TruConnect. “How can we regulate emotions we are not aware of? By increasing self-awareness, we build a better foundation for future effective emotion regulation.”

Building self-awareness is a lifelong journey: it’s about really getting to know yourself and the way your mind works. Journaling, meditation, and moments of quiet reflection can all help you on the path. 

“Emotional acceptance is a skill that involves experiencing negative emotions without judging them or yourself. Emotional acceptance is a key emotion regulation skill because judgment of our negative emotions just amplifies them, makes them stronger, last longer and become harder to regulate. To accept your emotions, practise mindfulness and non-judgment.”

Taking the time to consciously enjoy and appreciate positive moments is a powerful way to boost your mental health. The next time you have a really great cup of tea or are in the midst of a cuddle with a pet, pause and savour it. Check in on your senses. Notice how this experience feels. 

Temporal distancing involves shifting the way you think about your present situation by imagining yourself in the future. Will this worry matter in a week? How about a month? A year? Ten years? 

It’s all about remembering that this too shall pass, and time helps us heal. 

“There are all sorts of processes in our brains that aid emotion regulation,” says the TruConnect team. “These ‘emotional cognitions’ can be altered with various types of training. More specifically, activating regions of the brain associated with positive concepts may be beneficial. One way to do this is to recite and memorise positive words. Bringing these words to mind can strengthen emotion regulation processes.”

“Self-distancing is an emotion regulation skill that involves looking at your situation as a fly on the wall. Emotionally distancing yourself from your experience and looking at it from an outsider’s perspective helps you disconnect from your negative emotions and see them in a new way.”

Emotional attention is the science-y way of saying that you try to look on the bright side. You consciously direct your attention to the positive, rather than the negative. Simply aiming to do this can help to reduce feelings of anxiety. 

The power of gratitude has been proven over and over again – it’s absolutely transformative. Try gratitude journaling or simply challenging yourself to name three things you’re grateful for each day. 

“Reappraisal is an emotion regulation skill that involves cognitively reframing an experience as more positive or less negative,” says TruConnect. “Building this skill can both increase positive emotion and decrease negative emotion simultaneously.” 

Try fact-checking the anxious, neurotic voice in your mind that says things are worse than they are. Question your assumptions and propose an alternative, more positive view. 

TRUCONNECT (£24.99 annually; www.truconnect.fit) is a leading mental health and wellness community app.

Frame Of Mind is Stylist’s home for all things mental health and the mind. From expert advice on the small changes you can make to improve your wellbeing to first-person essays and features on topics ranging from autism to antidepressants, we’ll be exploring mental health in all its forms. You can check out the series home page to get started.

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