Dating can be difficult at the best of times, but even more so when navigating mental health issues. 

Yet, the reality is that many of us are dating on antidepressants. Research found that in the UK, women are twice as likely to be prescribed antidepressants than men, and in 2022 alone, the NHS confirmed that nearly half a million more adults were taking antidepressants in England compared with the previous year.

There are many common side effects of medication that can impact your dating life, such as a low sex drive, a dip in your self-esteem or confidence and struggles (for some people) to orgasm. Alongside the NHS-prescribed list, there are also some wildcard side effects such as vivid dreams, but again, this varies from person to person. 

It can be isolating if none of your close circle is on, or has experience with, antidepressants, but as always, you’re not alone. Here eight women share the highs and lows of their experience of dating on medication.

I’ve been on antidepressants since 2019 and have never disclosed on dates that I’m on them, as no one in my life needs to know about it unless I want them to.

It’s not from a place of shame due to stigma, but I prefer to keep it to myself as my brain being unable to produce some hormones and neurotransmitters correctly is frankly the least interesting thing about me.

I’m happily single and have only been involved with people casually, so the people I date get as much from me as I give them. I’m staunch with boundaries of my space and what they are/aren’t allowed to get involved in (like they don’t get to meet friends and family if they aren’t being kept around long term).

Taking medication is for me, so my brain functions; it improves my ability to go out, have fun and enjoy myself (minus the orgasm issues, of course). 

In all honesty, I kept that I was on antidepressants pretty quiet until after the fourth date with my current partner, as it just wasn’t something I wanted to get into too soon. It wasn’t due to stigma or anything, but I wanted to sound out the situation with them first before I opened up.

It came up after we had sex though, as antidepressants obviously affect your libido. I had to explain, like: “Honestly, I won’t orgasm. It’s no reflection on you; it’s because I’m on antidepressants.” And that started the conversation on mental health.

It was actually a really nice and natural way to start the discussion, which I found really hard to do to start with. I’ve now been with my partner for three years now, after we met on Hinge. 

I stepped back into dating a few years ago, and from day one, I decided I was going to try my hardest to be authentically me and that included being honest and open about my mental health struggles and the medication I was on.

I think the trauma I went through in my previous relationship made me realise that I never wanted to be in a position where I felt ashamed for who I was and that realisation empowered me to be more open about it.

I didn’t jump into every first date by listing off my issues or prescription list, but I would give nods to my openness about and advocation for mental health. I decided very early on that anyone who had an issue with it wasn’t worth my time and that was that.

Dating was really hard because I couldn’t be honest about my life when I was depressed. I was a mess and didn’t want anyone to see that. There were so many little things to lie about — how my day was, how work was going, etc. I kept altering my medication in order to find one that didn’t leave me exhausted or losing weight.

I’d been on medication for almost a year by the time I started dating someone seriously, and I was in a better place. I don’t know if I would’ve been confident enough to discuss my mental health any sooner than that. 

I really wanted to be honest with him, but I was nervous about what to say that wouldn’t be “too much”. I worked with my therapist to come up with a short explanation that felt manageable to share. This guy had been very open about his anxiety from day one, so I was confident that he would be understanding about my depression — and he was.

My mom suggested I hide my meds more thoroughly when dates come over. On one hand, I think she’s right — I’m sure some people would judge me for taking antidepressants, or at least jump to conclusions before I’m able to have that conversation on my own terms. But on the other hand, I resent the suggestion because there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Dating can be demoralising even under the best circumstances. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your mental health, but if you’d like to share, it’s helpful to start with the basics. If you aren’t feeling 100% better, ask your psychiatrist if there are any adjustments you can make to your medication. 

When I first started taking antidepressants, my partner wasn’t as understanding as they could have been. I was experiencing some rough side effects (which is normal), but it can be difficult to empathise with if you haven’t experienced them yourself. Emotional blunting was quite hard for them to understand.

I just wasn’t excited about things like their promotion or their sister’s wedding – not as much as I should have been, at least. My emotions were dulled or pretty much non-existent, which is a very weird experience in a world where everyone tells you to “feel your emotions”, which is pretty hard when you’re not really having any.

I also lost a lot of weight while I was on antidepressants, which affected not only my romantic relationship but my platonic ones too. The weight change and the clear emotional blunting I experienced definitely impacted my relationships, as I started to feel more isolated and distant from the world around me, which is difficult to navigate on your own, let alone when dating. 

I’ve been on antidepressants since I was 20. I’m 26 now; in those six years I’ve learned to navigate dating while on my medication. My partner is extremely supportive and sees my antidepressants as normal – and often reminds me to take them on time.

I found dating while on antidepressants more straightforward than I thought I would. I am a fierce advocate of mental health awareness, and part of the way I do this is by openly discussing my own mental health the same way I would a broken leg or stomach ache.

When dating, if the topic came up, I would not shy away from it but talk about my experiences as naturally as I would discuss my most recent holiday. I found it to be an excellent tool to work out if I was on a date with someone, I’d want to spend time with, and this is advice I’d pass on to any women currently navigating dating while on antidepressants.

Don’t feel pressure to go out of your way to mention it, but if the topic is raised, don’t feel like you need to back down from the conversation. After all, if the person you’re on a date with reacts badly or has unkind or disrespectful comments or opinions, they’re not the person for you.

I started antidepressants for OCD when I was 17 and that was during my first relationship. Because I started on antidepressants so young, I’ve never really known dating without it. 

It’s never been a massive issue for me, and the only thing I’ve found to be an issue is that sometimes people don’t understand the side effects that are involved with antidepressants. They can underestimate the severity of the side effects especially if I’m tired or I’m not feeling well, which can be quite upsetting. 

Whenever I date people I tend to go for people who are quite open-minded about mental health.

I don’t mind telling people I’m on antidepressants; it usually comes up before I even go on a date with them, as when I’m talking to people I tend to be quite open. Mental health is a big part of my life and it does impact a lot of areas of my life, so I do bring it up casually in conversation. I don’t make a big deal out of it, and if the other person does, that’s how I kind of know they’re not right for me

I think sometimes people assume I take them for generalised anxiety and depression rather than OCD, and I have been guilty of letting people think that as unfortunately, there’s a larger stigma for OCD than there is for other mental health conditions. Even if there’s no stigma, there’s a lack of understanding, I think, about OCD and the impact it can have on your life

I personally don’t really see the point in concealing aspects of my mental health from people that I’m dating, as it’ll come up eventually. I’d rather it comes up at a time when I’m in a good place to speak about it, as opposed to coming up at a bad time, when I’m not feeling too good. That way, I have a little bit more control over the narrative. 

I’m no stranger to online dating, but I am pretty new to doing it on antidepressants. For two months, I’ve happily been on a low dose of sertraline with little to no side effects, after a period of trial and error with different ones that gave me some truly wild ones: heart palpitations, flu symptoms, and even a kind of gin-induced giddiness.

In the past, I’ve been open about my mental health on dates, mainly as I’d been in a good place to discuss it. Back then, it had been years since I’d been in the depths of my depression, so it felt natural to throw it into the conversation as it was so far removed from my current life.

However, dating a few months after an extreme depressive episode feels different. With my friends, I’m more than comfortable popping my pill out at the dinner table and joking that my sertraline is working overtime so I’m treating her to a nice meal. I’ve got to thank her for all of her hard work, after all.

However, I haven’t known how to bring it up with people I’ve just met and start that dialogue in a way that feels natural and safe to do. I’m hopeful that in time, it will naturally come into the conversation when I’m more comfortable discussing it with new people. 

Frame Of Mind is Stylist’s home for all things mental health and the mind. From expert advice on the small changes you can make to improve your wellbeing to first-person essays and features on topics ranging from autism to antidepressants, we’ll be exploring mental health in all its forms. You can check out the series home page to get started.

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