This week we’re talking to Dr Jane Pritchard, Admiral Nurse at leading UK live-in care provider, The Good Care Group, and registered mental health nurse.

If you could recommend One Good Thing people with caring responsibilities can do to improve their mental health, what would it be?

To take time out for yourself. There is a famous phrase, ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup.’ You must help yourself before you can effectively care for others.

Why is this your One Good Thing?

With a recent report from The Alzheimer’s Society revealing there are record numbers of people being diagnosed with dementia in England, it’s important that people consider how caring for a loved one with the condition might impact your own mental health. As the family members of those living with dementia, we can overlook our own needs and focus only on the person living with dementia’s needs. Caregiving is an incredibly challenging task, it’s emotional work as well as physical, and can take a toll on mental health. Regular breaks are important to recharge and avoid burnout, which can in turn impact your ability to support a loved one.

Built-up frustrations, becoming disconnected from your support networks and the emotional strain/grief of seeing someone’s illness progress can all cause stress. Taking time out for yourself can help strengthen your relationship with a loved one. People living with dementia pick up very well on the emotions and body language of others. If you’re not feeling yourself then the person you’re looking after is likely to detect this, which may impact on their wellbeing. Keeping calm and in control of emotions is key.

How can carers look after their own mental wellbeing?

It’s so important to take ‘me time’ out of the day, even if it’s just 10 minutes. Techniques include centering yourself by sitting somewhere quiet or taking deep breaths and relaxing. Going for a walk or having a change of scenery can help break up your day and put things into perspective. It can also lower cortisol, the body’s stress hormone.

Alternatively, calling a friend or reaching out to a family member, or going to a cafe or joining a group, are all important ways you can switch off. Spending time socialising with others is important as it can provide an outlet to talk about the challenges you might be facing. It can also help maintain a sense of identity. Often, caring responsibilities can cause loneliness and isolation, which can be all-consuming. Carving out time to connect with others over common interests might remind you what’s important to you, and that you’re much more than a caregiver.

Most importantly, people should go easy on themselves – you can’t do it all. Accepting help from others is hard, but just taking someone up on an offer to collect a prescription or do some shopping can make a big difference to your day.

What are the benefits of doing this?

It’s vital to let the stresses of the day leave the body and mind and have a period where you can expel any frustrations, such as repetitive questions (a common symptom of dementia). This helps you return to the person you’re caring for more refreshed and attuned to them, as you have been able to deal with your own emotions.

Reaching out to others, even for just a quick chat, can help you to feel connected. Having a strong social network also provides emotional resilience and can help you cope more effectively with the challenges of caring for someone.

What are some common pitfalls carers fall into? How can we avoid them?

Often, we believe that it’s selfish to care for ourselves first. We think something will go wrong if we step away from our caregiving responsibilities. You can avoid this by reminding yourself that you are important too and that if your health suffers then you will not be able to care for loved ones, and they might not be able to remain living at home for as long.

Seeking support groups or therapy can help address feelings of guilt and provide a healthier perspective.

How do you personally do your One Good Thing?

I take time out when I’m feeling stressed and remember that the feeling will pass. I try to tackle my stress by relaxing and sometimes by meditating. This helps to encourage mindfulness, allowing me to become much more focused on the present moment. I can then be much more effective as I can break unhelpful thought cycles and promote a sense of calm.

I also make sure that I connect with others in some way everyday – whether this is having a short phone call with a friend or supporting a team member at work. This can help to provide a healthy distraction in the day from ongoing tasks, while providing a different perspective.

And how has doing this changed your life?

Carving out time for myself has been life-changing. It has made me appreciate what family carers are going through and how they need support too.

It has also given me increased clarity, allowing me to confront tasks and life with renewed energy. My personal and professional relationships have also been strengthened as my one good thing has helped me to retain a strong sense of identity. This means I’m more present in my interactions and better able to empathise with and support others. 

Frame Of Mind is Stylist’s home for all things mental health and the mind. From expert advice on the small changes you can make to improve your wellbeing to first-person essays and features on topics ranging from autism to antidepressants, we’ll be exploring mental health in all its forms. You can check out the series homepage to get started.

Images: Adobe