This week we’re chatting with Rasha Barrage, author of new book The Stoic’s Guide To Life.

Hi, Rasha! If you could recommend One Good Thing everyone can do to improve their mental health, what would it be?

To practise the Stoic principle of amor fati. It’s a Latin phrase that basically means ‘loving your fate’ or ‘love of one’s fate’. Amor fati teaches us to embrace everything that happens, both good and bad, as valuable and necessary parts of our life.

Interesting. Why is this your One Good Thing?

Because it can help you find peace in every moment and every obstacle. Instead of wishing for things to be different or hoping a person will change, you accept reality and shift your focus to the skills and awareness you’re gaining or the options open to you.

By accepting your fate, you learn to trust that everything that happens is for the best and contributes to your personal development and wellbeing. The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche referred to amor fati as his “formula for greatness in a human being”, and I tend to agree!

How do we embrace amor fati?

Practising amor fati means accepting your circumstances without resistance or resentment.

Epictetus, a famous Stoic philosopher, taught us to distinguish between what we can control and what we cannot. By recognising that we cannot control our fate or life’s challenges, we can focus on controlling our perception of fate and learning to love it instead of resisting it.

This means welcoming your circumstances with joy, viewing everything as necessary to becoming a better person and improving the world. It’s about finding harmony with the universe’s flow, embracing each moment as it comes and seeing the beauty in life’s unfolding. 

What are the benefits of doing this?

Amor fati discourages regrets and wasting energy on things beyond your control, including the past. By being grateful for every experience, no matter how difficult, you avoid a victim mentality and learn to forgive and accept. This reduces emotional struggles and boosts self-confidence, as you see benefits and opportunities in every situation. It helps you face the future with more courage and enthusiasm, trusting in your ability to handle whatever life brings.

Are there any common pitfalls people face when people try to practise amor fati? How can we jump over them?

Accepting your fate can be misinterpreted as passiveness, leading to feelings of defeat and powerlessness. For instance, someone diagnosed with a chronic illness might find peace in accepting their condition. Feeling resigned to their fate could stop them from seeking treatments or making lifestyle changes to improve their quality of life.

But amor fati is not about apathy; it’s an empowering principle. It’s about finding strength in acceptance while still actively engaging with life and making thoughtful choices to shape your path. 

How do you personally do your One Good Thing?

As much as I can, I try to accept any situation as forming part of my fate (and the fate of people around me).

Like many women, I am juggling many responsibilities. I must stay on top of work projects, managing a household, my children’s schedules and school events. I also try to maintain regular contact with family members, friends, my own self-care, exercise and so on. Since discovering amor fati, I rarely wish things were different, compare myself to others, or complain about being busy or stressed. I accept things as they are and view my multiple roles as opportunities to collaborate with others, work more efficiently, and prioritise effectively. I realise that without these demands, I might take loved ones for granted or waste time on unimportant things.

And how has doing this changed your life for the better?

I discovered the concept of amor fati shortly after my sister passed away and it transformed my perception of her death – and her life. Before I was filled with crippling regrets and sadness, but practising amor fati made me see how fortunate we were as a family to have had her in our lives. Thinking about her fate, as well as my own, made me more courageous in pursuing my writing ambitions and taking steps to make her proud. Amor fati allowed me to see her early death as a second chance in my own life and spurred me to grab opportunities because, ultimately, life is short and precious.

It also helps me on a day-to-day basis. Amor fati reminds me that the demands on my time are not burdens but privileges. I see how fortunate I am to have work and people to care for. I recognise that I am lucky to live in a time and country that allows women to live such a full life, and to be healthy enough to manage it all.

‘Loving my fate’ has helped me to be more grateful, calm and solution-focused.

Frame Of Mind is Stylist’s home for all things mental health and the mind. From expert advice on the small changes you can make to improve your wellbeing to first-person essays and features on topics ranging from autism to antidepressants, we’ll be exploring mental health in all its forms. You can check out the series home page to get started.

Images: Adobe; Getty