Content note: this article contains descriptions of pregnancy and baby loss.

In early March we finally got the call we’d been waiting months for. The secretary of state for health and social care, Wes Streeting, would like to meet us to discuss our Every Loss Counts campaign. Five days and many logistical headaches later, Stylist brought together pregnancy loss advocates and charity representatives to share our Every Loss Counts report with the person charged with overhauling the NHS. The report is a hefty tome we’ve been working on for months, filled with stories from you, our readers, about your experiences of baby loss and the four recommendations for positive change we are asking Mr Streeting to commit to based on your stories.

It’s been 10 months since we launched our Every Loss Counts campaign in partnership with Tommy’s, the UK’s leading charity funding research to make pregnancy and birth safe. Our mission is to amplify the conversation around pregnancy loss and demand better informed care so that no person is left to figure out a way through on their own.

We launched with four pledges: to lead the conversation on our platforms, to demand that we officially count miscarriages in England (at present, there’s no official data on how common miscarriages are), to encourage workplace miscarriage training as standard and to get our campaign in front of the new Labour government so that we could enact real change. On that sunny Wednesday morning, we did exactly what we promised. We gave women who had experienced loss the chance to be heard, and asked our health secretary to listen. The mood in the room was triumphant, supportive and hopeful.

Sharing stories

After a brief introduction from Stylist’s editor, Alix Walker, the indefatigable Myleene Klass – an ambassador for Tommy’s who has also made a Bafta-nominated documentary on the topic – told her story of loss. She talked about her four miscarriages with heartbreaking clarity. Treatment for her first, she said, “felt very callous”, while the second one “was equally shocking” because it was then that she was told she would need to have three consecutive miscarriages to qualify for any kind of investigation. “Consecutive?” she asked, incredulously. “You wouldn’t wait for three consecutive heart attacks or nosebleeds [to seek treatment]. Nowhere else in healthcare would you force people to wait in that kind of purgatory.”

She spoke about the “ingrained misogyny” involved in the language around miscarriage, the lack of available data and the lack of suitable space in hospitals for women and families. “I was going to my GP, I was going to specialists – women are sitting in A&E. Where is the triage? Where should you place a miscarrying woman? Is she less important than if she were having a heart attack?”

Hers is the rallying cry of someone who had more resources than most at her disposal, and yet she still struggled to find answers or receive adequate care. A story we heard time and time again as we spoke to women, along with healthcare providers and experts, all around the UK for our report.

Next, Stylist’s health, fitness and wellbeing editor, Miranda Larbi, who has been at the forefront of our campaign since launch, told her story, impressing upon Streeting that pregnant women are treated completely differently once they ‘successfully’ reach the 12-week mark. “Miscarry at 10 weeks and you’re a statistic,” she said. “You’ll spend the next three weeks retelling the sequence of events to nurses, sonographers, consultants, receptionists because none of your experience will have been written down on your record. No one will check to see how much blood you’ve lost, and no one will ask how you’re coping emotionally. No one cares if your partner is so devastated that they can’t make it into work. Come out of your dating scan with a viable heartbeat and evidence of growth, on the other hand, and you’re suddenly on a well-oiled conveyor belt of care that deals with everything from mental health at work to free prescriptions and exercise classes.”

Streeting listened intently, his face full of empathy but also shock. He seemed disturbed by the fact that it took nearly a month for Miranda’s miscarriage to reach a conclusion, disappointed to learn about the lack of empathy on offer to women and couples, and frustrated that things he believed were already happening, weren’t.

Making change

Finally, Jennie Agg – one of the women who helped launch our campaign – shared her story of “miscarrying all over the UK”, and the agony of having to sit in A&E for hours on end. “It’s never going to be a pleasant experience, but does it really have to have all those extra layers of distress and potential trauma?” she asked, while describing a stressful and frenetic environment in which you’re not a medical priority. “I was terrified by what was happening.”

Streeting acknowledged that things aren’t working when it comes to miscarriage care in the UK. “The first thing I was struck by [listening to these stories] is how fundamental the failures are at the moment,” he said. “There’s no quick fix here; we have to make sure that we’re getting the basics right and delivering the things we say we’re doing.” A framework does exist, he says, for supporting bereaved people and couples but clearly that isn’t being adhered to properly.

“One of the things I’m struck by as a man is that there are lots of things that are either a universal experience for women, or very common experiences for women, that are still treated like exceptional or rare events. If this was us – if this was men [going through miscarriages] – we would have these services [miscarriage treatment centres] everywhere and we would all be talking about it as well.” One solution advocated for by Tommy’s is a graded model of care, which varies based on the number of miscarriages women experience.

After the talk, the health secretary individually thanked everyone for sharing their stories, his copy of the Every Loss Counts report in hand. Having extended the reach of baby loss certificates in his first three months in office and spent his morning with us to hear our stories, it’s clear he’s an open and willing ally in our fight to make change. We’re requesting a regroup with Streeting in six months’ time to discuss what commitments he’s made. Watch this space.

The health secretary answers our questions

We asked Wes Streeting what we can expect from the government and the NHS going forwards. Here’s what he had to say

Our report has found systemic failures around insensitive language, outdated terminology and lack of emotional support. How might the NHS start to address those issues?

“I expect all women to be shown the utmost care and respect when losing a baby. But from listening to your harrowing stories, it is clear this is far from the reality. It has also become clear that women don’t always know how to access the right support after such a traumatic experience. That’s something I really want to change.

“Women’s voices must always be heard and this is in part a cultural shift that requires wider reform. That’s why I’ve launched the biggest conversation in the NHS’s history, through the 10-Year Health Plan. This will draw on everyone’s experiences, helping to shape the future of the health service and address the unacceptable variation in experiences for women, while taking a closer look at maternity and women’s health.”

Why was extending the reach of baby loss certificates such a big government priority?

“I cannot comprehend what you’ve all been through. Losing a baby must be heart-wrenching – the loss of a tiny life and the love, hopes and dreams for the future wrapped along with them.

“It’s so important that bereaved parents can formally recognise their loss and I’m proud that we extended this scheme so soon after coming into government to all families. As of March, almost 100,000 people have accessed the scheme.”

At the moment, the NHS does not count losses that occur before 24 weeks of pregnancy. What is the main blocker to collecting this data and how can we improve things in future?

“While miscarriage hospital stay data is collected, the majority of baby losses occur outside of healthcare settings, and it is rightly the choice of the individual who has experienced the loss to disclose this information to healthcare professionals. It is therefore difficult to gather accurate and comprehensive data on miscarriages.

“However, in 2024, the NHS updated the Digital Maternity Record Standard (DMRS) Release 2 to improve the recording of miscarriage data. This includes recording women suffering from bereavement or loss, and birth outcome, including miscarriage, as well as information on previous miscarriage or pregnancy loss.”

Whatever bereavement support structure is in place for pregnancy loss isn’t working. Following our report, are you going to review and investigate to see what’s going wrong?

“The government is continuing to work with the NHS as it delivers its three-year plan for maternity and neonatal services. The plan sets out how the NHS will make maternity and neonatal care safer, more personalised, and more equitable for women, babies and families.

“As part of the delivery plan, Maternity and Neonatal Voice Partnerships (MNVPs) are in place to ensure that women’s voices are at the heart of decision-making in maternity and neonatal services. The partnerships bring together the staff who commission and provide maternity services with those who use those services.

“As this government develops its plans further, we will involve women at every stage of the process.”

Why are you proud to support Stylist’s Every Loss Counts campaign?

“I would like to thank all of our partners, including Tommy’s and Stylist for your Every Loss Counts campaign. Your work has helped lay the groundwork for an open, honest conversation about baby loss to improve care and the barriers to receiving it.

“It’s clear that this is an area where support has traditionally been lacking, and I’m determined to help change that.

What next?

These are the four recommendations from our Every Loss Counts report

1: Staff empathy training 

Language and attitude is crucial in the weeks following pregnancy loss. We recommend compulsory empathy training for everyone who comes into contact with women and parents.

2: Officially record baby losses up to 24 weeks

We want to see all pregnancy loss recorded nationally, at the point of diagnosis, in line with Tommy’s recommendations. A simple change could also be putting a red sticker on women’s blue pregnancy notes, indicating a loss. This saves them having to repeat their story.

3: Separate spaces within early pregnancy units

Those going through pregnancy loss need to be seated away from women waiting for other procedures. We suggest that separate waiting rooms be made available in Early Pregnancy Units so that anyone on the pregnancy loss pathway can avoid unnecessary distress.

4: All bereaved parents to be offered aftercare

Nearly half of the women we spoke to said that they didn’t receive a follow-up call or letter following their pregnancy loss, and 44% said that they felt lonely or isolated during that period.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by miscarriage or baby loss, you’ll find expert advice, honest stories and information on our Every Loss Counts hub. If you need specialist support now, visit the Tommy’s website.

Images: Sarah Brick; Stylist