The word fitness may most commonly be associated with cardiovascular ability, but it can encompass so much more. From strength and agility to mental sharpness, there are so many different types of fitness – each one just as valuable as the other.

One form of fitness many of us fail to pay attention to is social fitness. The term, coined by Robert Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, refers to your ability to build and maintain positive relationships and interactions with others. That might mean having a solid group of friends, but it can also mean feeling confident enough to talk to strangers or building a connection with the barista you interact with every morning.  

And while it might not be the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning, social fitness matters more than you might realise. Here’s everything you need to know. 

Good social fitness has been linked to everything from improved longevity to better brain health – and that’s just based on the research we currently have available to us.

One of the most significant studies into the benefits of our social lives was published in 2010 and found that the quality of someone’s relationships is a bigger predictor of early death than factors such as obesity or physical inactivity – and as similarly influential as smoking and alcohol consumption. When you think about how many public health campaigns have been aimed at helping people to stop drinking and smoking, that’s massive.

But being social doesn’t just have the power to help us live longer. Connection with others can lead to the release of neurotransmitters like oxytocin and dopamine, which can have a knock-on effect on our mood and stress levels. It can even influence our perception of pain; a study published in 2017 by scientists at the University of Colorado found that the touch of a romantic partner can relieve physical pain. 

And that’s not forgetting the impact social fitness can have on our brains – especially as we age. Being social is one of the key ways experts believe we can build our cognitive reserve, a form of neurological resilience which has been linked to a lower risk of diseases like dementia.

As Dr Tim Beanland, head of knowledge at the Alzheimer’s Society and author of the brain health puzzle book Mind Games, previously told Strong Women: “Having conversations with friends and meeting new people is really good for your cognitive reserve. Older people who get isolated later in life are at higher risk of developing dementia for this reason – connecting with others is so important for your brain.”

And last, but by no means least, being social can stave off loneliness – something we know can have a detrimental effect on our health and wellbeing.  

While there’s no one definition of what good social fitness looks like, it’s much more than having lots of friends to invite to your birthday party.

“Good social fitness can be likened to the World Health Organisation’s definition of wellbeing,” says Dr Audrey Tang, a psychologist, performance coach and founder of the performing arts charity The Click Arts Foundation. “This means being able to function within society, form healthy relationships, solve problems and make decisions with ease.

“It may also include emotional intelligence – the ability to recognise emotions, respond appropriately to others’ emotions and manage our own.” 

Referring back to the context in which the term ‘social fitness’ was initially coined can also help us to understand exactly what it means. Waldinger used the term to describe those who were able to maintain good relationships, not just build them; while relationships naturally wither away over time, those deemed socially fit were putting in the work to keep them going.

Again, this isn’t just a case of staying in touch with your closest friends. Research has shown that maintaining group-based social connections – rather than just individual relationships – is what’s most important for our cognitive health. 

Because social fitness can be quite loosely defined, there are plenty of things you can do to improve yours. The main thing you want to focus on is your ability to get along with others. For example, do you feel confident speaking to people you’ve never met before? Or do you find you’re the friend people go to when they need a chat?

If you’re not sure where to start, Dr Tang recommends working on your listening skills. “Being able to listen well means you can respond accordingly and appropriately,” she says.

According to Dr Tang, some common listening mistakes to avoid include:

• Listening only to speak (ie thinking about what you’re going to say next rather than listening and understanding what the other person is saying)
• Listening to criticise (ie looking for something wrong or debatable in what someone is saying)
• Listening to ‘one up’ the speaker (ie looking for areas in their speech that you can ‘beat’ in terms of excitement or opinion) 

“If any of these sound like you, then awareness is the first step towards addressing it,” Dr Tang explains. “Next, practise listening: we get very good at what we practise, so try asking people questions and then really listening to them. A good way to test this is whether you can ask someone more questions in response to their answer.”

Other ways to increase your social fitness might involve pushing yourself out of your comfort zone by meeting new people – perhaps going to a new club or event in the process – and making an effort to connect with people as you go about your day-to-day life.

In the era of smartphones and wireless headphones, it’s all too easy to get stuck in your own little world. But if you want to reap all the incredible benefits social fitness has to offer, then making a conscious decision to unplug and reconnect could be the perfect place to start. 

Images: Getty