I’m a big fan of self-reflection. I love the opportunity to look back on everything that’s happened over the past year and make plans for the one that lies ahead. But what I don’t like about all this reflection is the pressure to make big changes because of it.

I’m talking, of course, about the idea of setting new years resolutions. The idea that you need to become a different person just because the year is ending isn’t just unrealistic, it can be harmful. In the past, I’ve beaten myself up over not working out every day, doing enough steps or going to bed on time every night – and I’ve grown sick of falling into the same old trap. That’s why I set new year goals instead. 

The idea of setting goals instead of resolutions might not sound that different, but trust me, it is. While setting a resolution is all about trying to force a change, setting a goal is all about making something happen. Let’s say I wanted to start running: if I was to set a resolution, I might tell myself I have to run three times a week or go to Parkrun every Saturday during January. A goal, however, might look like wanting to run a half marathon at some point in 2024 or clocking up a total of 200km throughout the year.

There are two key differences here. Not only does a goal give you something to work towards throughout the year (as opposed to trying, failing and moving on within the first month of the year), but it’s also more likely to help you build healthy habits in the long run.

Now, it’s worth noting that not all goals are healthy or realistic – telling yourself you’re going to swim the channel when you’ve never been in the sea before may not strictly be impossible, but it’s going to take a lot of hard work. Similarly, goals informed by diet culture are no less toxic. 

But the way I’ve approached setting goals has helped me to make changes I really wanted to see without beating myself up about missing a day or two. Plenty of resolutions are set with good intentions, but they’re difficult to follow because they require constant discipline if you don’t want to ‘fail’. Telling yourself you’re going to go to the gym five days a week is all well and good, but it doesn’t allow for life to happen – you might get sick, have other commitments or simply need some time off. The alternative is setting yourself a resolution of going to the gym once a week, but that might hold you back from making more progress than you might had you been more ambitious or, alternatively, be a stick to beat yourself with if you need to take a complete break.

Setting yourself a goal – such as being able to do a few 75kg deadlifts by June – allows for fluctuations in your effort and motivation while still giving you that sense of achievement. And while you’ll still need to be disciplined to achieve it, there’s a little bit more wiggle room so meeting a goal is more realistic in the long run. And arguably, that goal is more useful (getting stronger) than slavishly following a tick-boxing exercise.  

This mental switch makes you more likely to succeed. It’s so easy to get demotivated and start using negative self-talk when you fall short of the definition of success you’ve put in place. Giving yourself the flexibility to adapt your behaviour while having off days along the way stops this from happening in the first place.

So, next time you’re asked what your new year’s resolutions are, take a moment to think. You don’t need to overhaul your life just because it’s January, but it is a great time to think about what you want to achieve and start to take steps towards it. That doesn’t all need to happen within the first month. Give yourself plenty of time and space, and you’ll be surprised by how much you can get done. 

Images: Getty