By the time I turned 27, I’d spent most of my professional life working in female-focused health tech – so I thought I had a decent steer on women’s health. OK, I did a half-hearted job of tracking my own irregular period, but really, I didn’t think it was something I needed to pay loads of attention to. After all, I was healthy – going to spin classes and starting the day with Instagram-worthy bowls of overnight oats. Despite all that, something clearly wasn’t right.

There’d be days when I couldn’t get out of bed. Waves of intense despair and hopelessness would wash over me, and I’d sob because life felt very long. I would toss and turn because I couldn’t bear the feeling of my own skin. I’d bury my head in the pillows because I wanted to quieten the ugly voices in my head. I would wait for it to pass. 

As I got older, these episodes became more frequent. As I endured more challenges – a sexual assault, stress at work, heartbreak – they became scarier. I tried to push through: on the whole, I was living a life I enjoyed. I was in my mid-20s, living in London, doing a job I was getting a lot from and had an active and busy social life. It was frustrating to know that however happy and productive I felt, those emotions would soon be replaced with something far darker.

After one too many panic attacks in the toilets at work, I decided it was time to leave my job and went to my GP. The first time I heard of premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) was when I was diagnosed with it by an NHS gynaecologist. And it was only then that I started paying attention to my hormonal health.

PMDD is a condition that manifests in the run-up to your period. Unlike typical PMS symptoms like mild mood swings or fatigue, PMDD symptoms are much more severe and can significantly impair our functioning and quality of life.

According to Francesca Steyn, chair of the Royal Collage of Nursing’s Fertility Nursing Forum, PMDD can be “severe enough that people have suicidal thoughts or tendencies”. Up to around 5.5% of pre-menopausal women are thought to live with it. But, says Steyn, “many are misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all as it is often misunderstood as PMS, so women have to struggle alone for a long time”. 

The treatment options that were offered to me were stark: take antidepressants, go on the pill, or have an injection that would cause me to go into early-onset menopause. Or I could just have a hysterectomy. In other words, the only available means of support for a chronic hormonal issue involved stopping natural ovulation. It didn’t feel that empowering. 

I wanted to feel in control and understand my health better. I invested time into getting to know the one thing that has been with me since the start: my body. Suddenly, I realised just how little I knew about women’s health, despite my professional background. 

It’s been a real journey to get to a point of acceptance and understanding. But now I’m here, these are the three things I want every woman to know about taking control of their hormonal health.

Start tracking month-long symptoms – not just period dates

Our menstrual cycle is so much more than a monthly-ish bleed. Most of us already know that there are four phases (menstruation, follicular, ovulation and luteal), but you may be less used to tracking discharge, mood, gut and skin changes. Each of us will have a unique cycle experience, which means it’s hard to make blanket statements about how to eat or exercise at any one point. For some women, the lead-up and start of a period is a time best spent relaxing while others find they run faster or concentrate harder once they start to bleed. Whatever your experience is, however, it’s worth getting to know your cycle intimately.

“Hormones follow patterns; they have external signals and signs when they are in-sync or off-balance,” explains Amy Thomson, founder of wellbeing tracker app Moody Month. “Knowing what moods and symptoms to look for provides a first step in helping you to connect with your body.”   

Stop wasting time on the stuff you don’t genuinely enjoy

Given how omnipresent our hormones are, I couldn’t take control of my PMDD without taking a close and honest look at my life generally. I took some time to re-evaluate my work goals and the friendships I was investing time into. Spending all day at my desk and doing things because other people wanted me too – like drinking bad cocktails in a sticky bar – left me feeling exhausted. I had no energy to see me through my lower days. 

Like so many zillenials, I’ve swapped crap nights out for long, post-run breakfasts. I’ve done my yoga teacher training and started to host classes in the evenings. As a result, my low points have become less severe; the more I’ve listened and grown to know my body, the more it’s taken care of me. And yes, I do still occasionally enjoy a cheesy night out with an overpriced, sugary cocktail but these days, I only go if I really want to. 

There are so many women going through similar battles – you’re far from alone

The more I researched PMDD, the more I realised how little the average woman knows about their cycle. Many of us aren’t taught about hormonal health and, too often, it takes years of agony and pushing for a diagnosis for us to sit up and take control. Millions of us live with things like polycystic ovary syndrome, PMDD and endometriosis. But if even if you’re lucky enough to have pain-free, regular periods, you still deserve access to reliable hormonal information.

Fundamentally, our cycles are our internal guide to living happier and healthier; good hormonal balance is key to better stress management, enjoyable sex and the ability to make balanced food choices. It influences how restorative our sleep is, plays a bigger role in our skin health than any serum and influences how much energy we have to exercise – and enjoy it.

As Thomson tells me, taking control of your hormonal health is “all about female empowerment”. Today, I’m proof that you can live a full life with PMDD – if you know where to start. It can be daunting but it’s important to remember that we are the experts of our own bodies. Only we know what feels good and normal. If you have a second sense that something’s not quite right, don’t dismiss it. Trust me, taking your cycle seriously is so worth it.

Images: Getty; author’s own