We talk a lot about loving every inch of our bodies, but let’s face it – sometimes it’s easier said than done. Even the most confident of us can struggle with our own perceived imperfections. Perhaps your teeth aren’t completely straight or you’re noticing that those laughter lines are becoming a bit more pronounced. Maybe your figure has changed since having a baby or you’ve gone through a period of significant stress and you’re finding it difficult to accept the way things sit differently on your body.

If you’re nodding your head in agreement, you can take solace in the fact you’re far from alone. But you should also know there’s a different way to view your body, and that’s where the idea of wabi sabi could help. 

Like many Japanese philosophies and concepts, wabi sabi is difficult to precisely define. It’s more of an instinctual feeling among the Japanese that subtly influences the way they live their lives, but in general terms, it relates to seeing and appreciating beauty in the imperfect and impermanent nature of things.

“Wabi sabi is an ancient cultural principle that is often summed up as ‘the wisdom of imperfection’,” explains Taro Gold, the author of Living Wabi Sabi: The True Beauty Of Your Life. “It guides us to the beauty in imperfection and the understanding that our so-called flaws can actually lead us to deeper happiness.”  

To separate the phrase, ‘wabi’ relates to seeing beauty in the humble simplicity around us, while ‘sabi’ roughly translates to the passing of time and the idea of growth, age and decay. Used together it’s an empowering principle that encourages us to accept that life is always flawed and transient, but there’s beauty in that. And, in fact, it’s exactly what makes it beautiful.

Gold, who went to university in Japan and lived there for some years in his 30s, adds that it’s a concept that’s woven into the tapestry of Japanese culture, and its influence can be found everywhere in Japanese aesthetics. “Kintsugi, for example, is the art of rejoining broken pottery, embracing its flaws and imperfections, and in the process creating something even more valuable and beautiful than the original piece,” he says.

For many, it’s the ideal antidote to the fast-paced, consumerist way of living that we’ve become accustomed to. 

If you need a gentle nudge to remind yourself just how beautiful your body is, wabi sabi can help.

“Since wabi sabi reminds us that perfection doesn’t exist, it helps us be kinder to ourselves and appreciate our bodies for the miraculous, organic machines they are, imperfections and all,” Gold says. “Our so-called imperfections actually become sources of strength and deeper wisdom, and we are reminded that we have a new chance to refresh both our spirits and physical selves each day.”

This is particularly true when you think about the idea of beauty in ageing: it’s our wrinkles, scars and grey hairs that show our life experience, after all. 

Elle Mace is a positive psychology coach who works with many women struggling with their body image. She believes embracing the concept of wabi sabi could help us all make peace with our bodies.

“I personally think it’s a wonderful concept and true to life and our bodies,” she says. “It’s a fact of nature that we are born imperfect because the idea of ‘perfect’ was made up by marketing teams and businesses who want to make money from those who keep striving to achieve whatever ‘perfect’ is.

“Instead of trying to change or reverse natural changes, it would be amazing if we took the pressure off ourselves and appreciated who we are as we are,” she continues. “By embracing wabi sabi, we can learn to appreciate the imperfections of our bodies and find acceptance in our flaws. It can help us to become more mindful of our bodies and to focus on the joys of being alive.” 

Keen to incorporate some of these ideas into your daily life?

“Wabi sabi is not about ignoring self-care or neglecting your health,” says confidence coach Oliver Luke Delorie, who’s also written a book on the subject called Wabi Sabi: Finding Beauty In Imperfection. 

“It’s about shifting your focus away from external standards of perfection and finding beauty in the imperfections that make you who you are. Avoid comparing yourself to unrealistic beauty standards and instead focus on taking care of yourself in a way that feels authentic and true to you.”

Try the following tips… 

Remember that ‘perfection’ doesn’t exist

Contrary to what we’re told by social media and advertising campaigns, there really are no ‘perfect’ beauty standards to aim for. “Rather than allow manipulated images in beauty magazines, ads and social media to distract us from reality, find inspiration in images of simplicity, compassion, victory over adversity, and so on — in other words, moments of strength and wisdom,” advises Gold.

Celebrate your uniqueness

OK, so you might have a nose that feels out of proportion on your face or a scar on your hand that you’re conscious of, but these quirks are part of you, and what makes you who you are. “Rather than striving for perfection, embrace your uniqueness,” says Delorie. “Appreciate the lines, scars, and wrinkles that tell the story of your life and experiences. Don’t try to hide or fix your perceived flaws. See divinity in the asymmetry of your face, your lazy eye or your wonky curves.” 

Show your body gratitude

Our bodies put up with an awful lot, and quite literally sustain us through life’s ups and downs – so why not say thank you? It may sound cliché, but actually taking the time to show gratitude can help you embrace self-compassion and acceptance. ”Spend a few minutes each day identifying things you can appreciate about your body and how it serves you,” recommends Mace.

Embrace change

“Change is a natural part of life, and it’s important to recognise that your body is in a constant state of transformation,” says Mace. “Instead of trying to control the way your body looks, learn to embrace the journey of life.” 

So, don’t bemoan those grey hairs or wrinkles or try to hide your post-partum changes; they’re part of your life’s path and show you how far you’ve come.

See beauty in simplicity

Whether it’s celebrating a good hair day or taking the time to apply hand cream in a mindful way, it’s often the small things that can make a big difference to feelings of self-love. 

“Find joy in simple moments, rather than seeking out grand, flashy displays of beauty,” suggests Mace. “Recognise the beauty in small, everyday things like moving your body, smiling, laughing, crying and being able to do all things we can in life.” 

Images: Getty