From eating a nutritious diet to exercising regularly, the key elements of a healthy lifestyle are fairly universal. While some of us may have specific health needs that we have to pay attention to, physical wellbeing, for the most part, is one size fits all.

However, it’s when we start to talk about mental wellbeing that things can start to get a little more complicated. There are a few key things we can all do to look after our mental health – getting a good night’s sleep is one prime example – but a few basics aside, self-care needs tend to look a little different from person to person.

Whether it’s meditation, yoga, high-intensity exercise or simply having a hot bath, there are plenty of popular self-care activities out there. But finding a self-care routine that works for you and helps you to feel your best can require some experimentation. While some people might swear by mindfulness to help them calm down when they’re feeling anxious, others might prefer distracting themselves by spending time with a group of friends.  

There’s no ‘right’ way to do self-care, but it is possible to find a routine or tool kit that suits you and your needs – and that’s where this article comes in.

Whether you’re feeling a little dissatisfied by your current routine or aren’t sure if your self-care is as effective as it could be, here’s how to tell if your self-care is working – and how to build a toolkit that works for you and your needs. 

To work out whether or not your self-care is working, you’ll need to know a little bit more about how self-care should make you feel. After all, quantifying ‘good wellbeing’ is hard – should you be happy, euphoric or just plain fine?

“Our self-care should leave us feeling uplifted, relaxed, recharged and our wellbeing enhanced,” explains Lisa Gunn, prevention lead for emotional wellbeing at Nuffield Health. “If our self-care activities don’t make us feel like this, the activities may not be adding value to our wellbeing and what we’re ultimately trying to achieve.”

While some may find it easy to identify when they’re feeling relaxed and ‘well’, for others, it might not be that simple. If you’re struggling to recognise how you’re feeling after a self-care session, then you could try asking yourself a few questions. 

“The best way to know whether your self-care is working is to check in with yourself,” says Charlotte Whiteley, a counselling psychologist and founder of the Mindful Psychology Practice. “How are your energy levels? How is your state of mind? Are you talking kindly to yourself or are you beating yourself up?

“And how are your relationships? Do you have the energy to be around people or does it feel overwhelming? By checking in with yourself, you’ll soon find out if you’re looking after yourself in the right way.” 

If you were hoping for a quick fix, you might be disappointed. There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’, one-size-fits-all self-care routine, and it’s likely your self-care needs will evolve from day-to-day. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t find a range of activities that work for you depending on what you need.

“Self-care routines and rituals may change over time and will be different for different people – what works for us one week or month might even be different the next,” Whiteley points out. “This is because we are all different, with different personalities and backgrounds, and therefore we have different needs.” 

In a similar way, Whiteley continues, the type of self-care we need can shift from day to day – for example, one day we might need something to help us calm down, whereas another day we might need something that’s going to lift our mood and help us feel more energised.

“It’s useful to have a range of self-care or self-soothing routines that we can draw upon when we need to accommodate the difference,” she adds.

At the end of the day, however, the perfect self-care routine is simply one that makes you feel good. 

“The perfect self-care routine is one that allows you to reconnect with yourself, relax and recharge,” Gunn says. “But it also needs to be evaluated and reviewed to make sure it’s still working for you through different life stages and stressors.” 

There are plenty of popular self-care activities out there. But how can you tell which ones suit you best? For the most part, it’s all about experimentation.

“Working out which types of self-care work for you is a bit like trying on shoes,” Whiteley says. “You could talk to other people about how they take care of themselves, or do some research online or in a book. This will give you some ideas to try and experiment with.”

Gunn agrees, adding that it’s important not to shut yourself off from trying self-care activities that might not have worked for you in the past. 

“It might be that you did not consider yourself a reader, but with the right book and environment, you might find that you can’t wait to relax with a novel. Or it might be that practices such as mindfulness have never appealed, but by allowing yourself to engage with it, you find it more beneficial than you imagine.”

Gunn continues: “Make a list of all the forms of self-care that you know work for you and perhaps make a list of those you might be curious to experiment with.

“Finding what forms of self-care work for you can be an exciting challenge and a way to learn more about yourself.”  

Images: Getty