We’ve all heard the saying ‘it takes a village’ when it comes to raising a child, and never is this more apparent than in the ‘fourth trimester’. Coined around 20 years ago by paediatrician Dr Harvey Karp, it refers to the post-natal period immediately after giving birth and usually lasting around 12 weeks. 

The first few months of parenthood (especially if it’s your first time) are a steep learning curve – emotionally, physically and practically – and that’s before we take issues such as maternal mental health and traumatic births into account. It’s clear that parents need help in these all-important early months, from family, friends and the wider community. 

We’ve spoken to an expert to find out the best ways to support our friends and family during the fourth trimester and how best to help combat the lonely and isolating time new parenthood can often be once the early flurry of visitors dries up. All new mums will tell you that they never forget even the smallest of kind gestures, so here are simple, practical ways you can support the new parents in your life. 

In the UK, we’re fortunate to have access to many things that make having children easier and safer than in other parts of the world: clean water, vaccination programmes and free healthcare, to name but a few. But many of us lack a supportive and communal approach to parenting that’s commonplace in other cultures. We might not live near our parents or extended families, for example, or have scores of close friends who are busy having kids at the same time as us.  

Studies show that being raised by a ‘village’ of willing adults increases resilience and social connection in children, while further research finds mothers who have adequate social support are less likely to develop post-natal mental health issues. 

“Support during the fourth trimester is critical for new mums as they adjust to the challenges of caring for a newborn while recovering physically and emotionally from birth,” says Emiliana Hall, founder of The Mindful Birth Group. “When mums have the right support, it helps them feel stronger and more confident, setting the foundation for healthier families. This has a positive impact on society, leading to happier, more resilient parents and stronger communities overall.”

The good news is that there are several simple ways we can all help new parents in the fourth trimester. So, if you’re looking for ways to support your friends and family, bear the following in mind. 

1. Allow them the space to talk openly

Sometimes, all women really need is supportive listening. “One of the most valuable things we can offer new mums is a non-judgmental, compassionate ear,” says Hall. “The emotional rollercoaster that comes with the birth of a baby can be overwhelming, and simply being there to listen without offering advice – unless it’s requested – can make all the difference. A safe space to express concerns, joy and even frustration is essential.”

2. Offer to help out with domestic tasks

If you ask any new mum what they need, sleep is probably very high on the list. Even being able to lie on the sofa while someone else holds your newborn can feel like a lifeline. So, when you visit a new parent, prepare to muck in and help out.

“The physical recovery from childbirth can take time, and new mums often put their own needs aside while caring for their baby,” adds Hall. “Encouraging them to rest and offering help with household chores, meal prep or even holding the baby so they can take a nap can have a significant impact. Sometimes the gift of a few uninterrupted hours of sleep or rest is priceless.”

3. Give gentle guidance (if they ask for it)

Wondering if how you’re feeling is normal is common when spending time with a new baby, and hearing that others have been through the same feelings can be enormously reassuring. 

“For many mums, especially first-timers, there’s a lot of uncertainty around what ‘normal’ is in the postpartum period,” says Hall. “Providing gentle guidance on topics like infant feeding, babywearing or postpartum recovery can help them feel more confident. It’s also important to normalise the ups and downs – they’re not alone in their struggles.”

4. Offer to help them make new connections

For new parents, life has changed radically overnight, and it can be tricky to adjust. In the early days, there’s no substitute for connection with others. If they’re new mums too, it can make new parents feel less alone, and if not, it can be a refreshing glimpse of normality. 

“Isolation can be a real challenge for new mums, especially if they’re home a lot in those first few months and have perhaps been used to going out to work every day,” says Hall. “Encouraging connections with other new parents, either through in-person groups or online communities, can provide a sense of belonging and shared experience. Peer support is incredibly powerful.”

5. Bring them food

We can all agree that as an adult, having a nourishing meal cooked for us is a massive treat, and never more so than when you’re in the throes of new motherhood. Even if you’ve batch-cooked to your heart’s content in those last few weeks of pregnancy, there’s something so comforting about a friend popping by with some home-baked goodies. 

“Two words: bring food!” says Sarah Campus, personal trainer and mum of three. “This might mean bringing easy, nutritious meals or snacks, batch cooking while you visit or even offering to shop for them – every little helps.” 

A nourishing environment is about more than just food. “Creating an environment that encourages health and healing, both physically and mentally, can make a huge difference in those early weeks,” notes Hall. “This can include helping parents access nourishing foods, making sure they stay hydrated or encouraging gentle movement with a leisurely walk when they’re ready.”

Images: Getty