When the baby loss charity Tommy’s reached out to its community on the tradition, over 80% said they’d tell their loved ones before 12 weeks, with 73% saying that sharing their pregnancy before 12 weeks helped them get greater support – especially for the anxieties that often come with pregnancy after loss.

Dr Elena Touroni is a consultant psychologist and co-founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic, and she believes that keeping a pregnancy silence can have ‘significant’ psychological implications – particularly if the pregnancy is lost in the first trimester. “When the pregnancy is kept private, the grieving process can become more complicated as individuals may lack the support they need during such a difficult time,” she explains. “This silence can also heighten feelings of guilt, shame or inadequacy, leading to a sense of disconnection from both their emotional experience and those who may have offered support. The absence of shared experiences with friends and family can intensify feelings of loss, making it crucial to find ways to navigate this challenging emotional landscape.”

It’s pretty bonkers to think that we still allow huge areas of our lives – and health – to be ruled by superstition, but Dr Touroni says that these ideas are often rooted in cultural beliefs and norms. “Many of these traditions are tied to a desire for protection and hope during what can be an uncertain time. For some, these practices provide a sense of control in a situation that is inherently unpredictable.” And that’s where blame can be dangerous. That friend of mine who miscarried years before me? She initially blamed herself for publicly announcing her pregnancy too soon. Logically, sharing news won’t cause a miscarriage, but in searching for answers to what is still such an unknown area, it’s easy to see how she might have landed on that conclusion.

The ’12-week rule’ stops women from getting support for miscarriage – why does superstition still have us in such a grip hold?