Of course, our wardrobes and personal sense of style can change multiple times throughout our lives. As seasons shift, we reach towards different fabrics, colour palettes and patterns (a palm leaf print dress doesn’t look quite right when frost is forming on the ground), and changes in environment, profession and time all contribute to the ways our wardrobes will look. After all, seasonal trends are there for a reason and help shape the fashion industry to be exciting and innovative.

But one day, when I opened up my wardrobe and barely recognised the way it now looked, I knew something else was at play when it came to my personal style. And this shift seemed to represent a rather significant issue I’d tried not to think about until it became visible from almost every angle: I’d lost a huge amount of confidence in both myself and my personal appearance.

What started as simply swapping my brightly coloured gym leggings for a basic black pair or picking up black jeans instead of my favourite white ones, soon became a whole wardrobe overhaul of dark, gloomy colours. Gone were my bright whites or mind-calming creams, along with any vibrant or more striking shade, pushed to the depths of my one-metre-wide wardrobe.

“Although there’s not a huge amount of evidence to support the notion that people gravitate towards wearing dark colours when they’re lacking confidence, we know that the choice of clothing can be influenced by emotional states,” shared Dr Carolyn Mair, cognitive psychologist, author of The Psychology Of Fashion and fashion business consultant, when asked about the link between our wardrobes and the way we might be feeling.

“Culturally, dark colours are often associated with sophistication, formality, as well as introspection and seriousness. These associations can influence our choices subconsciously when we want to project a serious or more subdued mood or when we want to minimise visibility and avoid attention,” she added, and this last point felt rather poignant. While all-black outfits can look incredibly chic and are beloved by many a fashion fan, it is one of the best colours to wear when wanting to blend in.

This time last year, I fell out with one of the people I was closest to. It was incredibly emotional and, from their side, rather horrible, as snide comments were made about every aspect of my life, tearing down my job, appearance, relationships and any other avenue that could cause hurt. The result, along with many tears, therapy sessions and an incredibly hard-to-repair relationship, was a massive crack in my confidence that, when paired with a body shape shift, grew into a rather large crater. But while I tried to bury these emotions deep down inside and continue with life as normal (of course, totally not the advice learnt in said therapy sessions), it seemed to be slowly seeping into my fashion choices.

Despite having little concrete evidence to suggest a connection between the two, Mair did make sense of how our style could subliminally echo our emotions. “The clothing choices we make are highly subjective and depend on multiple factors as well as confidence, including context, personal style and preferences, sociocultural norms, trends, functionality, budget and body image,” she shared.

“This lack of confidence can make us want to avoid attention and blend into the background, so we choose clothing in colours that help us achieve this,” Mair added, while also touching on how a lack of body confidence can make us lean towards these darker, often dreary shades in the hope that won’t stand out. Or, it could even come down to stress.

“When we’re stressed, we are likely to opt for simple solutions, and dark shades can extend to our wardrobe. Having dark-coloured clothing can be easier to mix and match and wear on repeat as it’s less noticeable,” Mair offered as another example.

Although I felt a sadness when realising the potential reason behind my new colour palette, it also served as a signal that things really needed to change, and perhaps I could use my wardrobe to help bring my confidence back. So out come the coloured trousers, cream jumpers and my favourite feel-good pieces as I start to strip back the black and become less accustomed to blending in.

“Most people say comfort is a priority when choosing clothing. Comfort is both psychological and physiological, and stepping out of our comfort zone can demand courage, but the results can be a fantastic confidence boost,” finalised Mair and it seems like this could be the first step in trying to claim my confidence back, one item of coloured clothing at a time. 

Images: Getty