It’s been a week on The Traitors, with some brilliantly memorable moments (“Shut up. I haven’t seen your mummy”) and the tragic departures of some legendary (and also terrible) players. If you’re not up to date on this week’s episodes you might want to come back to this later. 

Here’s what I’ve loved and hated this week…

The sisterhood 2.0

There’s a new power duo in town and I’m loving it. I still don’t understand the fake Welsh accent, and I probably never will, but I love how unexpectedly cutthroat and scheming Charlotte, the newly seduced Traitor, is. Choosing not to tell Minah that Freddie is suspicious of her is a power move, although perhaps the fake accent is a symbol of just how deceptive she always was. 

However, I am worried Charlotte will throw Minah under the bus at any given opportunity, which I will never forgive her for. I am ride or die for Minah. 

Alexander 

The posh one, rather than the similarly named one who (disappointingly) got chucked out at the round table on Thursday. I can only imagine that The Traitors producers heard my pleas for him to speak out more, as he’s been a chatty Cathy this week. I am also furious at the other contestants (Joe!) having it in for him when he’s doing his best and being a team player, and yet he somehow stays calm when under fire. 

Alexander also gave me one of my favourite moments of the series so far in the (frankly deranged) nursery rhyme challenge when, ever so earnestly, he sang Schnee schnoowl beeeeeeerl on repeat. 

A hero. 

Frankie’s shoes 

Specifically, the long cowboy boots she wore over jeans on Thursday. And the fact she did a trial wearing her “snakeskin slingbacks”.

She’s rising up my complicated ‘she seems fun’ ranking system. Let’s hope she stays there…

And, obviously, Claudia’s looks

Particularly the ground-sweeping black lace Costarellos dress (above), which was utterly unsuitable – but totally brilliant – for wearing in a forest. It’s the leaves caught up in the train for me…

Leanne 

I know the coffin that Leon had to lie in after the game of death match wasn’t real, but in many ways it was real. So I don’t blame him for having an existential crisis about who he can trust, and what life means. I have them regularly, and I’m not isolated in a Scottish castle with people lying to me constantly. 

So I don’t know why Leanne was so cross with him for distancing himself from her. Let the man live.

She was also unnecessarily sassy to Alexander at the roundtable on Wednesday, accusing him of being patronising. He was just trying to get his point across. 

She’s not in my good books, currently. 

The blinkers 

I don’t understand how Joe hasn’t come under suspicion yet. He goes hard on people (Kas and Alex, for starters) turns the group to his way of thinking and gets it so wrong. What are they seeing that I’m not? (On that note, give me 24-hour access to watch them during their downtime, please.) 

Or maybe he’s playing the best game of all of them: useful to the Traitors for constantly putting heat on the wrong person and also considered a true Faithful because he’s so loudly wrong, which a Traitor wouldn’t be. 

Linda

Literally. 

Our now-departed queen knew her time had come, and it was the fake crying over Livi that did it. But you’ve got to admire a woman who can summon up such Oscar-worthy sobs in front of a table laden with croissants and perfectly cut exotic fruit. 

I also loved the beef between her and Fozia. Never have the words “You’re next!” been so prescient. 

I’m starting a petition to replace Paddy McGuinness/Gino D’Acampo/any white man from primetime telly with Linda for a series about her travels around Europe on a coach. 

Images: BBC