We’re almost halfway through the new series of The Traitors (the final episode will air on 24 January), which means the Stylist office has been flooded with chat about which of us would be a great traitor (I know I’d be worse than Linda and Armani combined), who we want to win, who we definitely don’t want to win and what we think of the series so far. 

And I have a lot of feelings about the good, the bad and the “who is he?” of it all…

Minah

I’m not sure we’ve ever had a traitor who relishes murder as much as Minah, and she’s playing a great game – the finger of suspicion has so far not been pointed at her. And thank goodness; frankly, I can’t see how Linda is going to make it through to the end (and I’m not even sure she’s all that bothered about being a good traitor anyway). 

Minah’s ability to cry and emote at the round tables while cheering inside is Oscar-worthy. Just give her the £100,000 now. 

The crying

“No one seems to understand that The Traitors is a game – there are no actual murders, so why is Livi crying as if Tyler’s been decapitated?” my colleague Miranda posited after his eviction.  

But as someone whose instant reaction to any difficult or uncomfortable situation is to cry, I find the constant tears at the round table very relatable. I know I would be sobbing inconsolably, like Freddie, if anyone so much as gave me a suspicious look, let alone accused me of lying.  

That said, I think Miranda has a point when she says: “I just wonder why, if you’re that sensitive, did you enter a game that’s literally all about lying and manipulation?”

Claudia getting cross

Every time the faithful banish one of their own at the round table, I get a little thrill about how angry Claudia is with them for being so stupid and going along with the groupthink that sees them change their mind like the wind. “What are you doing?” she asks, her voice dripping with disappointment. 

Perhaps they enjoy Claudia’s dismay as much as I do, which is why they keep making such terrible decisions. 

Dan 

“I’m being self-interested in a game of self-interest,” said Dan when interrogated at the round table. Which sent his accusers spinning. 

He was my second favourite and I loved how open he was about his neurodivergence. Plus he was the only one who seemed rational (even if he was often wrong in that rationality) and understood that this is a game of logic. 

However all that means nothing really given he got so cruelly evicted. 

The gut-instinct paradox

Can someone book Professor Tim Spector on the next train to Scotland? There are a lot of dodgy gut microbiomes being trusted that clearly need feeding with some kombucha and kefir. 

Until then, these people need to stop trusting their guts and each other and start looking for actual evidence – and not the type of ‘evidence’ that suggests that if someone is a doctor by day it means they kill people at night.

There are still too many of them

There’s a group of men in the game (at the time of writing) whose names I can never remember. I think they’re all called Jake or Josh or Joe. And there are some people I have heard nothing from: Alex and Alexander, I’m glaring at you. 

There are too many people in the game currently. More murders, please.

The stupid lies

Lying about being Welsh, pretending you’re a beautician when really you’re an army veteran and withholding that you’re a vicar (although that’s out the bag now, isn’t it, Lisa?) is all just a bit silly. They’re not smart lies, and when they come out, no one is going to trust you. Also, can someone tell me why Anna kept it secret that she was recruited? I don’t get it despite her explanations. 

If you’re going to lie, make it a Diane and Ross being mother and son level of deception.

Round table cliches

If I hear one more person say “It’s not personal, but…” 

Of course it’s personal. Telling someone you don’t trust them couldn’t be more personal. And that’s OK; it’s the whole reason why you’re there.  

Stand by your character assassinations loudly and proudly. And if you could also try to spell each other’s names right while you’re at it, that would be really great.

Images: BBC