There is little data about the extent of sibling separation so, for the sake of its latest important documentary, Split Up In Care – Life Without Siblings, the BBC ran its own research.

It showed that as of 3 September 2021, around half of sibling groups in care are split up.

More than 12,000 children in care are not living with at least one of their siblings so in a bid to learn more about the impact of these decisions, Ashley John-Baptiste talks to Saskia, a social worker student in Manchester.

Saskia and her brothers were adopted after being rescued from their birth family, but in their adoptive home, they suffered physical abuse and neglect for a decade.

Max is the oldest at 24, Saskia is 23 and Toby is 22, which makes them all very close and a “very tight unit”, Saskia says. “Always kind of been that way.” 

When the adoption broke down, though, Saskia and her brothers went back into council care. Unfortunately, this meant that they didn’t stay together for long.

“We were, all three of us, in different placements, in different areas,” she explains.

“It was quite strange as well because myself and Max were obviously still attending the same school – it was really strange.”

Saskia explains that she was around the age of 14 when contact between the three siblings completely broke down. “I lost such a key part of myself I think because it was like us three against the world – it always has been.

“So being so far away from them, it’s like ‘Oh, I’m not as strong anymore.’

“Sometimes siblings are all you’ve got left and if you take those away, you’re taking the last thing away.

“The last bit of hope,” John-Baptiste offers, as someone who grew up in the care system thinking he was an only child until a social media message changed everything. Saskia nods and simply states: “The last bit of your identity.” 

She adds: “It’s only when you sit down and reflect on it that you think about how much better it could have been. I don’t see it as bad because my brothers are still in my life.

“I’m lucky, you know. I see myself as very blessed.”

The siblings don’t usually talk about their separation but Toby agrees to discuss things for the sake of the documentary.

Speaking about the impact of being separated in the care system, Toby admits that it’s made him into “quite a resentful person as a whole really”.

“Like, even if life’s going good, I’ll still find some way to be negative. Overall, I’m just a negative person – I find it hard to see the good in anything.

“It’s affecting me a lot,” he says. 

Because of these traits, Toby discusses, it’s made him have to face some very real-life consequences. He’s committed crime, gone to prison and he does acknowledge the fact that maybe he was difficult to deal with in the care system.

He takes full responsibility but states: “If I hadn’t lived the life I lived, I would have never been in that position to ever commit crime,” a sentiment that Saskia agrees with.

Through their experiences and what other people have put on to them, it’s shaped them all to be the type of people they are.

There’s no doubt in Saskia and Toby’s minds that they should have been kept together, they go on to say. “I think any siblings should be kept together anyway but given what they knew we’d been through in that house, looking back now, it just made no sense that they split us up,” Saskia explains.

She gets teary talking about her brothers as her inspiration for carrying on, even though there have been countless times that she’s wanted to give up, she says. 

Saskia now works supporting children in care while Toby has found a new job but Split Up In Care – Life Without Siblings underlines the fact that these stories can often end in a multitude of different ways.

The law states that siblings should be placed together when it’s possible and safe to do so. However, as this documentary highlights, many will be separated because of a shortage of foster carers and suitable accommodation options.

Split Up In Care – Life Without Siblings is available to watch now on BBC iPlayer. 

Images: BBC