There’s been a lot of chat in the Stylist office about things that make us emotionally horny (blame Adam Brody). And while confident reversing skills and dependability are deeply attractive… if you want something straight-up horny (and hysterical), I suggest you watch Rivals. 

The adaptation of Jilly Cooper’s seminal 1988 novel set in the Cotswolds is finally getting its TV adaptation. The eight-part series features pretty much every British and Irish actor working today including David Tennant, Alex Hassell, Aidan Turner, Nafessa Williams, Katherine Parkinson, Danny Dyer, Victoria Smurfit and Emily Atack. It’s the sort of show that you’ll find yourself constantly pausing to search people up on IMDb to find out where you’ve seen them before. 

The show is, in theory, about a 1980s television channel and the rivalry between local lothario Rupert Campbell-Black (Hassell) and the head of Corinium television, Lord Tony Baddingham (David Tennant). But in reality, it’s about class, power, money and sex. I’ve watched the first three episodes and the result is more naked and even steamier than my 14-year-old mind (whose world was blown open after reading Riders and then Rivals) would have imagined. It’s also brilliantly camp, knowing and funny. 

Some of the things I scribbled in my notebook while watching the first couple of episodes include: 

• Bare bottom! I can see a bare bottom. For those interested in said bare bottom, it appears within the first 10 seconds of the first episode and takes place on Concorde while Robert Palmer’s Addicted To Love plays in the background. 
• OMG! There’s also full frontal.  
• Wow, there is so, so, so much sex. Are people really having this much sex? How lovely.
• I think someone just said the phrase: ‘Christ, you’re wet.’ It’s punchy and I like it. 

However, it’s (mainly) not just smut for smut’s sake. Female desire at all ages was not shied away from by Cooper, nor is it ignored by the show’s lead writer, Dominic Treadwell-Collins, and director Elliot Hegarty. 

The women want sex – although it’s important to note there is also some disturbing sexual office politics, which would have been prevalent in the 80s and beyond – and to be wanted. It even verges on romantic at times, particularly in the longing between Lizzie (Parkinson) and Freddie (Dyer). 

There is also, to my eye, more male nudity on screen compared to the women in the cast. In an interview for The Times, Treadwell-Collins said: “We’ve been ‘equal opportunities’ in our nudity. There’s a willy for every pair of tits.” And, in my opinion, you can’t say fairer than that. 

Ultimately, in a world where porn proliferates and we’re so often made to feel shame about desire, it’s wildly refreshing. Like Bridgerton, it’s great to see people enjoying sex and having amazing orgasms and fun while they’re at it… which, in the case of Rivals, is very frequently. 

Watch Rivals on Disney+ from 18 October.

Images: Disney+