Once upon a time, Miranda Hobbs (Cynthia Nixon) was the unwavering voice of reason in Sex And The City.

That’s right: Miranda was the woman dishing out reality checks left, right and centre – and she was the one who always made a point of calling Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) out on her romantic bullshit whenever she needed to. Like, say, when Carrie decided to give up her career and her friends and her home so that she could move to Paris with a guy she had only been dating for a few short months.

“I don’t understand why you have to move away and give up your life,” Miranda told her BFF at the time. “You’re living in a fantasy.”

Carrie didn’t listen to her pal, of course, and instead absconded to Paris, had a terrible time and got slapped during an argument with her Russian lover. And Miranda didn’t even utter an “I told you so” – or, at the very least, she didn’t do so on screen. Who knows what she said when the cameras were pointing elsewhere, eh?

We loved Miranda for her pragmatic approach to love. Every romantic decision she ever made was done carefully, thoughtfully and with oodles of consideration. It’s why, when she proposed to Steve Brady (David Eigenberg) after six long seasons of will-they-won’t-they fun, we all knew it was the real deal.

“I don’t even care about the wedding,” she told everyone at the time. “I just want to be with Steve.”

Pah. How things change, eh?

Now, I understand that relationships can take a battering over the course of several decades. I understand, too, that people can grow apart – so, no, I don’t begrudge Miranda for calling time on her relationship with Steve in HBO’s And Just Like That. What I cannot abide, though, is the fact that AJLT’s Miranda has seemingly had a personality transplant with SATC’s Carrie.

Think about it: Miranda dropped every single one of her major responsibilities – her internship, her job, her family, her friends – so that she could follow Che Diaz (Sara Ramírez) to Los Angeles. She began living out of a hotel room so that she could force a monogamous relationship on a self-described narcissist who, let’s face facts, isn’t all that into monogamy. And Miranda has since spent her days listlessly wandering around a strange city alone so that she could be around in the evenings when her oh-so-artistic other half was done working and in need of some company.

Basically, Che is Miranda’s very own Aleksandr Petrovsky (Mikhail Baryshnikov) – save for the fact that he and Carrie were at least semi-seriously dating before the big Paris move. And, you know, the fact that he actually asked Carrie to come with him beforehand. Miranda, I hasten to point out, just hopped on a plane to chase Che down after a throwaway “come with me if you want” from the podcaster-slash-comedian. 

It’s a hard pill to swallow, because Miranda has never, ever been swept away by anything. And, while exploring what that might look like has apparently proven itself interesting to the AJLT writing team, it means that many diehard SATC fans have found it hard to connect with the character in the spinoff.

“Am I not allowed to change a little bit?” Miranda asked Carrie (and everyone watching) in the season one finale. And sure, yes, maybe that’s a fair point, but it’s not fun to watch someone positively explode their life over the wrong person. Especially as SATC’s Miranda would never have allowed such a thing to happen to one of her pals on her watch.

Episode five of AJLT’s second season seemingly confirmed that Miranda and Che are doomed, much as Carrie and Aleksandr were always doomed. And it’s not because of Che’s inability to offer Miranda any stability, and it’s not because they thrust threesomes on our favourite red-headed lawyer without even broaching the idea in conversation first. Instead, it’s because Che is the kind of person who lashes out at those around them when they have a bad day.

The bad day in question? Che’s new sitcom pilot got a bunch of negative feedback from test audiences, including this little meta gem: “The whole Che character was like a walking boomer joke that felt so fake to me. Just some phoney, sanitised, performative, cheesy-ass, dad-joke bullshit version of what the non-binary experience is. It sucked.”

Cue Che – and that’s the same Che who stays up until 4am smoking pot and playing video games with their friends as Miranda tries (and fails) to sleep – asking Miranda for space. And Miranda, who has given nothing but her all to this burning red flag of a relationship, sweetly agrees to Che’s terms.

Honestly, AJLT’s Miranda needs a pep talk from SATC’s Miranda. The same Miranda who might tell her: “Relationships are not about playing games. They’re about mature and honest communication,” or “Soulmates only exist in the Hallmark aisle of Duane Reade Drugs,” or “You’re living in a fantasy!”

Because Miranda, here’s the thing: you are living in a fantasy. And no, you don’t have to go back to Steve (if the relationship drove you to drink, you definitely shouldn’t) – but you do need to spend some time rediscovering your self-worth already. Please. If only for the sake of all the disillusioned Mirandas watching along at home.

Images: Sky/HBO