“When I said I could feel you kicking, they said, ‘Well, she’s got arms, you know,’ says Jacquie Madeley in Channel 4’s new documentary, Disability & Abortion: The Hardest Choice.

“I’ve got two middle fingers as well!” jokes her daughter Ruth Madeley.

This sums up the actor and activist’s attitude to living with disability. In a moving scene from her new documentary, Ruth chats to her mum and sister about when and how the doctors told her mum that she was carrying a disabled baby. Ruth’s mum says the news was delivered “very negatively” and she was told that Ruth would “never really be able to do much”. But Ruth definitely proved them wrong.

In the documentary, Ruth and fellow disabled actor and activist Ruben Reuter examine the complex and nuanced issues around terminating a pregnancy after finding out that the foetus is disabled. In Britain, there is a 24-week cap on abortion – unless the unborn child is at “substantial risk” of being born “seriously handicapped”. This means that disabled foetuses can be terminated right up until full term. In 2019, over 3,000 abortions were carried out because the baby was likely to have a severe disability. Of those, 275 took place after 24 weeks.

In 2021, Heidi Crowter, a woman with Down’s syndrome, challenged the Department of Health and Social Care over the Abortion Act 1967 at the High Court – and lost. Heidi said at the time: “The judges might not think it discriminates against me, the government might not think it discriminates against me, but I’m telling you that I do feel discriminated against and the verdict doesn’t change how I and thousands in the Down’s syndrome community feel.”

In the documentary, Ruth and Ruben are outside the Royal Courts of Justice with disability activists as the verdict is read. The scene is absolutely devastating and many are seen crying, Ruth and Rueben included. “I was shocked at how emotional I got because I didn’t even expect them to change it,” says Ruth.

She tells me about how being around all the campaigners and the atmosphere affected her, in particular one woman who has a child with Down’s syndrome who told her: “A week before my daughter was born, the message was your daughter is so disabled that you could legally terminate her now and it’d be fine. But a week after she’s born, your daughter is not disabled enough to get the benefits and the things that she needs to live well and independently.” 

This is obviously a hard decision for anyone to make, and people should always have a choice over their own bodies. But what does it say about the way disabled lives are viewed that it’s illegal to end a “healthy” pregnancy at six months?

Ruth sums it up: “The Royal Courts of Justice say that so it can’t be deemed discriminatory to unborn disabled babies because you don’t get human rights until you’re here, but unborn babies are protected after 24 weeks – unless there’s a disability diagnosis.”

As both a disabled activist and a feminist who believes in the right to choose no matter what, this is an issue I’ve always struggled to get my head around, and Ruth feels the same way. “I constantly felt like I was being pulled in two different directions; it was tough to make these two parts of myself try to coexist in such a difficult conversation,” she says.

It’s because of these two sides to Ruth that the documentary is anything but judgmental. Instead, the audience is given a nuanced and balanced discussion of why people terminate pregnancies when they find out their child is disabled. 

In the documentary, Ruth meets Kerryann, who terminated her pregnancy after finding out her son had spina bifida, the same disability as Ruth. This is a tough conversation, but one that needs to happen to understand why. The reasoning is not what many might think.

“She just didn’t have the help around and the infrastructure at home to be able to care for a disabled baby, so what was she meant to do? If she knew the help would stop once there the baby was here?” Ruth explains. “There needs to be so much more put into our world to accommodate and welcome disabled people as equals so people feel they can raise disabled children in it.”

So what does Ruth think needs to change about the law? “Well, actually, it’s more about the language,” she explains. “The words ‘handicap’ or ‘severe suffering’ because they’ve got no place in this society today. And instantly, you hear those words and whether you have a knowledge of disability or not, you’re going to associate disability with suffering and, you know, having zero quality of life. So, at the very least, I think the wording can change.”

The documentary ends with a celebration of disabled life as Ruth visits Ruben and his dance group, which is ultimately what Ruth wants people to take away from watching. “I felt very joyful about my disabled life!” she says. “But until society can see disabled people thriving and doing well, they will associate disability with not having a good life and a death sentence, so it will affect their decision to terminate.”

Disability & Abortion is a much-needed look at the nuances and intricacies of the way disability is still viewed in society. It’s a must-watch for disabled and non-disabled people, especially if you think you have one clear view on this argument. 

Disability & Abortion: The Hardest Choice airs tonight at 10pm on Channel 4

Images: Channel 4