“A classic mistake for me was getting married at 19,” said Jacqueline Wilson with a laugh as she shared some of her life lessons with the Stylist Live crowd.

Wilson has been writing for 55 years and is one of those people who is so observant and thoughtful about what it means to be a girl or a woman in our modern world.

It’s a relationship she has mixed feelings about.

“The great thing [about getting married early],” Wilson tells Stylist’s Meena Alexander, “was that when I was 21 I had my daughter, who I absolutely adore, and it’s been a joy having her. But in my early 20s, I was still writing a lot and trying very hard. And I was married to a guy who was, I think the complete opposite of me. He was a policeman, and so I was stuck very young being a policeman’s wife. [If I could go back to 17-year-old me,] I would say: don’t get married. You don’t need to get married. I always felt I had a reasonably OK marriage, but I had a secret feeling that he wasn’t the person that I’d always dreamed of.”

After the breakdown of her first marriage, Wilson spent several years alone and even though she says it was good for her, she still found it terrifying. “But then I discovered I quite liked being single, and I had a good social life so everything did end up working out well.”

It wasn’t until mid-age that Jacqueline Wilson realised she needed something different. She shared with the crowd: “Forty is an odd age. It’s just a number, and yet it’s also a reckoning age. You start to think well, is this what I want for the rest of my life? Or do I want to change? At 40, I was lucky. My books were selling well, and my daughter had grown up and was doing well herself, and my marriage was sort of jogging along, shall we say. [Imagine] if I had known then that 10 years later, I would no longer be married, and that quite shortly after, I would meet the woman who was the love of my life.”

Wilson also talked about how she doesn’t particularly think about being in a gay relationship. “I’m the sort of person who falls in love with particular people, and it doesn’t really matter whether they happen to be a man or a woman, but then that makes it sound as if I’ve been rushing around having amazing affairs!”

While Jacqueline describes her partner as the love of her life, she was quick to note that Trish doesn’t get to read her books in their initial draft stage. That’s because Trish offers up feedback… which Wilson doesn’t particularly want. “[My daughter] Emma was clever,” Wilson shared. “She knew that what mummy really wanted was, ‘Oh, I love it.’ Unfortunately, Trish took a while to learn this.”

The most important lesson she’s learned about love? It’s finding love and romance in the least romantic parts of life. “It’s thinking about whether a person would be there for you if you were sick and if you would do the same for them, and whether you’d still want to stay together for the rest of your life afterwards.”

And being happily coupled, Wilson feels lucky not to have to enter the modern dating scene, which she says would leave her “absolutely terrified”. The fast-paced nature of dating apps doesn’t quite appeal. “For me, it doesn’t matter what someone looks like. I’d just want to have a good, long chat. I just find it so alarming, the thought of hooking up with a stranger.”

Images: @shotby_farheenxo