AJ Odudu is human sunshine, the sort of warm presence that people are immediately drawn to. We’ve seen the Blackburn-born TV presenter light up the screen in everything from Big Brother and Dress The Nation to Eurovision and Drag Race UK, and her true magic as a host is her ability make everyone feel like she’s known them forever.

But, in a candid conversation with Stylist’s entertainment director Helen Bownass at Stylist Live this weekend, Odudu revealed that this is a skill she’s really had to work on. Speaking on the main stage on Sunday 10th November, she said it took her “13 years to have one good year” after she moved to London to try to make it as a presenter, and she had to learn how to exude confidence in new work and social settings.

“There’s been a lot of self-talk and practice, and telling myself that I do deserve to be in the room, and I do deserve to use my voice,” Odudu said. “But the thing is if you start telling yourself that, you come to believe it. It made me walk into a room and puff out my chest and swing my arms, and people notice that.”

“I’ve always been very curious; I am genuinely curious about people. And when walking into a room and networking, for example, if you think about striking up a genuine rapport with someone based on a meaningful connection – rather than seeing it as transactional and needing to get something out of them – it instantly softens the vibe and you’re more relaxed. It allows you to see even the scariest situations as, ‘I’m just one person, talking to another person.”

Odudu admits that trying to put herself forward in professional spaces was tough at first. “Networking definitely used to scare me; I used to be the one in the corner trembling. But now I remind myself that we’re all in the same room for a reason, so we must have at least one thing in common. There’s something that’s brought us into the same environment, so why can’t we have a chat as equals?”

It’s a simple but powerful mantra for all of us to remember: we are just as deserving as everyone else. But what do you actually say to someone you’ve never met before and would like to strike up a conversation with? Odudu has an answer for that, too. 

“Sometimes it’s as simple as, ‘Oh my gosh, you look amazing; I’ve got a similar dress,’ and immediately you’re chatting about clothes. One of the tools I always use, as someone who loves telly, is asking, ‘What are you watching?’ It could also be ‘What are you reading?’ or even ‘What do you make of this DJ?’ It’s easier to get into a back and forth than you might think.”

So, is she able to strike up a chat with everyone and anyone, nowadays? “I mean, listen, I say that I’m confident in all spaces now, but recently I was at the National Television Awards, and I was sat behind the cast of Eastenders. I took one look at Kat Slater and I ran away. I was starstruck. We all have our days.”  

Images: @shotbyfarheenxo