After eight weeks of hookups, breakups, reunions and one shocking death, we’ve somehow arrived at the penultimate episode of HBO Max’s Sex And The City revival, And Just Like That. Whew, it’s been a ride, hasn’t it?

In last week’s episode, Carrie cleaned out her closet with the help of Seema, and met her cool and very noisy new young neighbour. Charlotte also had an embarrassing episode involving Harry, Lily and a tale about penis cancer, which caused a lot of complications. There was also the discovery of Lily’s private Instagram account and a suggestive workout photo, which was soon sorted out with the help of auntie Carrie. At the end of the day, we’re all just figuring out who we want to be, right?

Meanwhile, the Miranda Hobbes romcom kicked up a gear. After being issued an ultimatum by Che (and a confession that they’re in love with her too), Miranda finally sat Steve down for a difficult conversation. She told him that she wasn’t happy and wanted a divorce, and finally confessed that she’d met someone else. Steve graciously told Miranda that he just wants her to be happy, after which she hurried to the airport to surprise Che and tell them that they can be together. 

Will Miranda get her happy ending? There’s only one way to find out. So come with us as we delve into episode nine: No Strings Attached. Read ahead to find out everything that happens – and be sure to check back next week for the final recap of this season of And Just Like That.

1. We’re at brunch with the girls. Charlotte’s excited about Carrie’s date with Peter, the hot teacher, but Carrie’s downplaying it. They’re just “two people who got sick on one another”, you know?

2. Miranda needs help at the weekend, and it involves manual labour and going to Brooklyn. No, it’s not another surprise for Che; she’s painting the women’s shelter with Nya.

3. Carrie’s trying to get out of it by saying that she’ll just write a cheque instead. Not so fast, Ms Bradshaw! “You can’t just be the white lady who writes a cheque!” Miranda fires back.

4. Charlotte’s also got news: she hasn’t had her period in four months so she thinks she may be in menopause. And she has no symptoms either! Welcome back, smug Charlotte.

5. Lisette, the cool, young downstairs neighbour is at Carrie’s door with free jewellery. She’s obsessed with Carrie’s podcast apparently. Cue eyebrow-raising everywhere.

6. Charlotte’s helping Rock do their homework. They’ve got to do the Torah portion again for their bat mitzvah.

7. Anthony’s on the phone asking Charlotte if he can bring someone to dinner on Friday. Charlotte asks if he’s appropriate for children. Anthony confirms he is: he’s smart, funny and he can’t find any evidence of his penis online.

8. Oh my lord, a bloodcurdling scream. Lily’s just got her period and it’s going to clash with a pool party, according to her tracking app. Charlotte reasons she could just use a tampon, but Lily’s having none of it.

9. Miranda and Che are having dinner at a cosy little diner. Some fans are coming over to ask Che for a selfie – is Miranda famous too? She says she’s not, she’s just Che’s girlfriend. Che looks crestfallen…

10. The fans have more news for Miranda: Che’s hooked up with loads of their friends! Miranda doesn’t know where to look. Keep eating, girl.

11. Seema and Carrie are in line for a club, and Seema’s not happy about it. Turns out it’s her birthday, and she just wants to go dancing. Now she’s trying to bribe the doorman to get in, and he’s having none of it. Was I just cancelled by a doorman? Yep, you were Seema.

12. Now they’re having dinner. Seema says she didn’t meet a guy this year, but she did meet an amazing friend instead. N’awwww.

13. We’re now at the York Goldenblatt residence and Charlotte’s getting the food ready for Shabbat before Anthony arrives for dinner. Lily’s got other plans: she’s ready to learn how to use a tampon.

14. Anthony and his date Justin have arrived. Upon first glance, Anthony’s right: he does seem normal.

15. Scrap that: he’s just discovered that Charlotte and Harry are Jewish and loudly declares that he doesn’t think the Holocaust is real. Anthony’s now screaming at him to get out.

16. We’re now at Carrie’s place. She’s trying to decide whether to remove her wedding ring, but ends up putting Big’s ring on alongside hers before the date. 

17. We’re curbside at the restaurant where Carrie’s meeting Peter. Uh oh: he’s just arrived and Carrie’s telling him that she’s not ready to start dating again.

18. Oh, Peter’s being so sweet about the rejection. He’s telling Carrie that he still plays his voicemail from his wife all the time too. Guess this is strike two for Peter and Carrie! 

19. We’re back at Charlotte’s place where mother and daughter are still in the bathroom having a fight with a tampon. Charlotte’s demonstrating with her leg up on the toilet, Lily’s watching a YouTube tutorial and everything is just chaotic. I love it.

20. Charlotte’s now fully lost it and is screaming encouragement like a soccer mum on the sidelines. It’s in!

21. Oh no, dinner is now ruined.

22. Oh crikey, Miranda’s rocked up to Che’s hotel room all sexy and confident and… unannounced. Apparently she was “studying at the library and was cravin’ me some Che”. She’s even brought Che’s favourite cookies! 

23. Che is shocked. Where’s the exit around here?

24. Che’s now telling Miranda that they were in the middle of writing and they kind of wish that Miranda had called and given notice that she was coming over. 

25. Miranda’s mortified and is now running away down the stairs with Che in hot pursuit. “I’m so f**king stupid. Who am I, Meg Ryan? F**k!”

26. Che has news: this isn’t going to work if Miranda insists on locking them into those limiting relationship tropes. Oh, and one more thing: “I’m not a guy, you’re not my girlfriend, and we’re not dating!”

27. Miranda’s stunned. What the hell are they doing then, she screams. 

28. Che’s now saying they’re simply “getting to know each other”. And to answer her question: Miranda is the only person they’re sleeping with right now. Good to know!

29. Che now wants Miranda to come back upstairs into their hotel room, but Miranda’s got it all back under control: she’s going to get the subway home and eat all those cookies herself. 

30. We’re now at the women’s centre, getting ready to paint. Carrie’s in a chic pair of dungarees, Seema’s declaring that she’s going to opt out of painting and be the brown lady writing a big fat cheque. I respect it.

31. Steve’s now rocked up with Brady to help. They’re still a family after all, Miranda’s telling Carrie, who says that it’s a very impressive attitude. I agree, I’m not that evolved.

32. Oh my god, Charlotte and LTW have rocked up in a white limo with the kids in tow. 

33. A moment of appreciation for LTW’s outfit: she’s wearing a fabulous jacket kitted out with essentials in every pocket: pens, a gold hairbrush, the works. And thigh-high laced boots, just to keep things real.

34. We’re inside the building now and Nya’s boyfriend Andre is wistful at the sight of LTW’s husband Herbert painting with the kids. Isn’t that the stuff of life, he says to Nya? She disagrees: it’s the stuff of their life. That family are loaded and probably have three nannies!

35. Nya’s now telling Miranda that she can’t keep up with the way Andre keeps changing his mind about their life. Miranda says they’re all programmed: she can’t stop checking her phone every five minutes to see if Che has texted her back.

36. Seema’s now having a tête-à-tête with an arrogant man who’s rocked up in a sports car. He wants to know why there are tables and chairs in front of his club – the one Carrie and Seema were denied entry to the other night.

37. I know where I’ve seen him before: it’s William Abadie aka Antoine Lambert from Emily In Paris!

38. You know what? I think these two like the look of each other.

39. Cut to Steve and Carrie, who are paired up and painting. Steve’s asking Carrie how long she knew about it – Miranda and Che. How long has it been going on? Carrie’s got to know.

40. Carrie’s just stepped backwards into the paint in her silver platforms. Crisis averted!

41. Oh no, Carrie’s washing her heel in the sink and Big’s wedding ring has just fallen down the plughole. 

42. Charlotte’s got another emergency on her hands: Lily can’t find her tampon string. It’s like having a newborn again, she tells Carrie, Nya and Miranda. Only this one has got a phone and her period.

43. Steve has just retrieved Big’s ring from the sink. Hero!

44. Che’s calling Miranda, who’s not answering because she’s been “too available” lately. Now she’s missed the call and Che hasn’t left a voicemail and she’s panicking. Ugh dating is the actual worst.

45. Andre’s now telling Nya that he’s not 100% sure that he doesn’t want kids, and he doesn’t know if he should be working so hard to talk himself out of that. Nya’s stunned, naturally.

46. Thank god, Lily’s finally found her tampon string. 

47. Oh no, Charlotte’s proud declaration that she’s finally stopped her period has come back to haunt her in the form of a significant bloodstain on the back of her dungarees.

48. Phew, Carrie and Miranda are on the case, tying a jumper around her waist. Miranda says she got caught out by a flash period too once upon a time, only she’s skilfully repressed the memory.

50. Steve’s just brought Carrie coffee. He says he’s never taking his wedding ring off, no matter what Miranda does. “Til death do us apart.” No, you’re crying.

51. Carrie’s now asking Steve if he thinks he may want to find someone else at some point. “Never coming off,” he says in response, pointing at his ring.

52. It’s nighttime and we’re back at Carrie’s apartment. She’s taking her wedding ring off again and putting it with Big’s in a box.

53. Now she’s texting Peter asking him if he’s up for strike three!

54. Seema and Carrie are back at the Manhattan club. Seema’s glittering, Carrie’s in a hot pink blazer, like she’s stepped out of the 80s. Guess who’s on the door? Only the owner of the club. Entry granted!

55. “And just like that, I was up for dance.”

Images: Sky/HBO